You must log in or register to comment.
I was thinking about that word just recently and whatever happened to it
Was a mid 2000s hipster wearing skinny jeans and bright colors. Non hipster girls thought I was gay. Honestly frat bros were generally more pleasant and if they thought I was gay never said anything and just handed me a beer.
and, how is your husband ?
/jk
somehow not being gay while not being gay was important while the real gays got accepted more. maybe it was a side effect of higher acceptance. kids of that time had to visibly distance themselves from stereotypical gay behaviour to appear more conformist?
The millennials spearheaded the LGBT rights, but we’re also the ones who had been trans- and homophobes growing up in 90s and 00s, with or without realising it.
Character development, I guess?
The “not that there’s anything wrong with that” episode of Seinfeld kind of summarizes the attitudes at the time. I don’t think the majority of millennials ever were against gay people (I’m sure there were exceptions regionally) but there was heavy stereotyping, which of course was a form of othering. And yeah the 90s were very no filter in general. At this time people viewed poking fun as a form of acceptance. But it took some time for the stereotypes to die down.
We Millenials consumed Gen X made media and Gen Xer’s pop cultural was very “Its fun to be cruel to weaklings and weirdos, be against consumerist modern life dweebs, and swear in front of old ladies. We’re so punk.”
Gen X 90’s culture being all about being a renegade nihilistic slacker as a reaction to the 80’s culture which was a lot more colorful, consumerist, and earnest at an almost saccharine level, even when it was trying to “rebel”.
EDIT: To clarify, Millenials consumed edgelord stuff from Gen X, and homophobia was edgey.
My talent as a homophobic millennial knew no bounds in the 2000s
I’d unironically call some straight girl a raging lesbo for wearing old burkes, then jump on the GSA forum and tell some teenager “it’s okay to be gay, it gets better, when I first came out you’d get bashed so things are improving” like I wasn’t part of the ongoing problem…
What was wrong with us back then!?
(I was definitely transphobic AF back then too! I have no excuses for it, especially because it turns out I tick that box as well)
Spearheaded the LGBT rights?
Some of us literally battled it out in the streets in the 80s and 90s. People fucking died. We were expelled from our families.
It’s hard not to take offense to your comment. Millennials did not spearhead shit. You were GIVEN the opportunity to be yourselves.
edit: Don’t think that I don’t appreciate that we still have boundaries to push. The war against sexuality isn’t over, and the old warriors are still here. We just don’t make as much noise these days.
Sorry, saying spearhead is a wrong choice of word. I didn’t mean to downplay the previous generations of lgbt rights activists, like Harvey Milk. I suppose what I mean is that millenials are the ones who have finally made lgbt acceptance come to fruition.
Here’s what many people don’t understand. Millennials and the younger generations are not more diverse. They didn’t make it popular. Sexual diversity has always existed.
The difference is that by the time you came around generations previous had been fighting for the right to exist. Those that didn’t have the ability or desire to fight for themselves simply remained ‘in the closet’ (a phrase I’m not fond of). But we made a TON of progress in the 80s and 90s so by the time you came along people were finally able to TRY and understand. Before that it wasn’t really even a question of if you would be accepted. You knew you weren’t. Again, millennials were GIVEN the opportunity to be accepted by those that came before them, quite possibly even close family members who they never realized fought for those rights even when they would never get them.
If you need a specific example to get it… My brother has a child that is non-binary. They get to have a relationship with their grandparents (my parents) ONLY because my parents understand now that refusing to accept would mean the loss of the relationship completely. If I had not made the sacrifices I did back then, that child would not have had the benefit of loving grandparents. In fact I’m often jealous because by the time my parents realized that they were wrong, it was too late for me. The damage had already been done. I will never know what it’s like to have a family, to talk to adult siblings about growing up. I’m still on the outside because my siblings were too young to really know what happened. To dig all of that up now would only damage their relationships and why would I do that? I know what it’s like to not have any support networks.
You should be happy with the freedom you were born into. I’m happy for your generation. I would go back and do it again.
And one of my biggest fears is that I might have to.
It’s hard not to take offense to your comment. Millennials did not spearhead shit. You were GIVEN the opportunity to be yourselves.
As a Millennial hard agree there. The old guard had to deal with mobs running the bars, institutions letting them die and in select places forming militia to prevent people from going out and beating queer people for fun. Millennials aren’t the spearhead, we’re like mid shaft of the spear at best.
That being said we’re all gunna have to go back to the hardcore roots if we want to uphold the civil rights wins of the past. This all is gunna get messy.
Yea, as a millennial, it’s kinda depressing to hear some of us take credit for being the spearhead when previous generations were the ones who went through things like the Stonewall Riots and started Pride.
We absolutely were not the spearhead. We were supposed to be the bulwark to prevent it from backsliding and we failed.
Yeah, GenX really took the reins on this one. By the time millennials were old enough to actually affect change, most of the blood had been spilled and the dust had already settled.
As someone who grew up in the late 90’s and early 00’s as a christian midwest kid, it is a constant struggle to deprogram that stuff because it was EVERYWHERE.
I’m quite literally LGBTQ+ and it’s still a struggle.
huh. I always just figured metrosexual just meant someone who really loved public transit.
I’m a sweet Tramsvestite, from Transitsexual, Trainsylvania~~~~
Dammit. That is legitimately funny.
The ascot was always good though.
Found Fred’s alt account.
Wait, shorts were gay? Does that include cargo shorts? Cuz there were a lot of cargo shorts at the time.
Source: used to wear cargo shorts back then. I still do, but I used to too.
Basically any clothing that actually fit your build instead of being a lumpy bag was gay
the shorts part makes no sense. everyone wears shorts
I can remember getting shouted at from a moving car for wearing shorts circa 2006, it was a thing.
Just people shouting invectives at you as they drove past, is that still a thing? I remembered it happening quite a bit back then, and it would ruin my day each time.
Well the term originated in Britain where they weren’t that popular at the time, and like the post says it was only if you wore short too much.
deleted by creator
They are comfy and easy to wear!
It was only if they fell above the knees that made you gay. If they fell below the knee or were basketball shorts, you were fine.
No they mean a certain type of shorts that end above the knees. Not the shorts that are basically three quarters pants. The shorter they were the gayer you’d be.
Gay:
Not gay:
That’s not “gay”. Not in any circle of people I’ve ever been in. That’s rich boy yacht clothing. Especially if they are salmon colored shorts.
Yeah now it’s not. But in the late 90’s and early 2000’s it was considered that in many places where baggy shorts was the norm. Like you said it’s rich boy yacht clothing. But if you weren’t a rich preppy boy and you walked around like that in rural areas or in the inner cities people would think you ain’t straight. Good for you that the circle of people you’ve been in weren’t super homophobic.
Best part is that the “not gay” shorts look like a skirt. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
The not gay ones are hella comfortable looking. Not sure about the gay ones, I’ve never really been into that type, I prefer my shorts really loose and the pockets big enough to hold 2 liter bottles
Oh, for sure. Skirts are also really comfy. Just thought it was funny given the context.
I appreciate your period-appropriate example with TJ Ford.
unless you’re wearing running shorts in which case the length of the shorts is inversely related to how good/fast of a runner you are.
Thank god I grew up in Europe. I would’ve been gay as fuck in America.
I think it depended on if your shorts were above or below the knee. Cargo shorts, I want to say, are okay. I want to say that because I used to wear cargo shorts.
Can’t even wear my chartreuse short-shorts with JUICY printed on the butt without people thinking I’m gay
That’s cause you need a hot pink button up with “Badman” emblazoned on the back to truly state your masculine dominance to the world.
A friend’s boyfriend has a hot pink and glittery t-shirt that says “Alpha Male” on it, which I find hilarious
Oh I need it for my band.
The 2000s were about as homophobic as the 90s, 80s, 70s, etc. Everything was just more out of the closet then.
People who think 2000s was homophobic would not have survived high school in the 80s lol. No like literally they would kill you.
No lie. I had guys hit on me back then and all but run when I said, no thanks, I’m flattered but I’m straight.
“They said bad things about gays in the 2000s!”
Oh my sweet summer child, gays used to be hunted coming out of gay bars.
All while dressing with cut off tight jean shorts ,mid rift sweaters and listening to Judas Priest…
LOL, back then I didn’t know Freddie Mercury or Rob Halford were gay. Yeah, that’s how society was.
Even that shitty Bohemian Rhapsody didn’t seem to realize that Freddie was gay.
I remember liking that movie and it seemed they made no bones about him being bi.
Were you thinking his sexuality should have been the primary focus? Because I think the man would rather be remembered primarily for his music.
The film makes it seem as if he was supposed to be with Mary. The gay relationship we see throughout the film is tied to the partying and drugs (and was made up). His actual relationship with Hutton, who he spent like a full decade of his life with, is relegated to the end.
In the film, we see being gay = partying, drugs, HIV. The man he ended his life with, who he loved, receives far less screen time than the evil fictionalized producer. There was an opportunity to show a real positive and loving gay relationship, and the choice was made to prioritize showing up a made up toxic one.
The 2000’s were bad, but check out our friends Bill and Ted in '89 :( (Shitty epithet to follow)
:(
It feels so out of character that they’d call each other that, because I think that’s really the only part of that movie that didn’t age well. The rest of the time they’re a great example of guys having a healthy friendship.
You can kind of read it as a condemnation of the current anti-gay atmosphere going into the 90’s–it’s so out of character that their first act after saying it is to become all smiles and joy again.
However, it more comes off as “even these loving guys who use the saying ‘be excellent to each other’ hate queers.”
how insanely homophobic the early 2000’s were
Me as a Gen X’er who lived during the 80’s and 90’s and witnessed the absolute rage hatred for gay and trans people during that time.
Yep, we were doing so well and now look at us.
I should say doing well in terms of direction, not absolutes.
AIDS!
That came about partly because homosexuality in the US was legalized on June 26, 2003. Without the fear of raids, people started talking more openly about sexuality and the tide was turning slowly more positive that movies and TV shows that joined the conversation weren’t immediately shut down.
Wow, I’m not American so I didn’t realise Texas was holding out that long, wasn’t Massachusetts offering state sanctioned marriages in like 04/05? That timeline is mind blowing! To have one state doing so much for equal rights while the other fights in court to actively do less.
I thought here in Australia, Tasmania was bad waiting until 1997 when their overseas neighbour to the north (Vic) was 1980… Then we didn’t get any form of same sex marriage until 2017.
But 2003!
You have actually broken my brain with this fact…
If you really want your mind blown, TX police are still trained on the sodomy law (even though they can’t enforce it) and there are still sodomy laws on the books in I believe 12 other states, according to a New York Times article I saw. If Lawrence v TX is overturned, as Thomas has insinuated it could be, the sodomy laws could immediately be enforced again.
When Lawrence v TX was decided, it overturned the sodomy laws in the states of Idaho, Utah, TX, Oklahoma, Kansas, Louisiana, Missouri, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Michigan, and also Puerto Rico.
Since that ruling, the only states that have repealed the ban on sodomy are Alabama, Missouri, and Puerto Rico. People in the other states will be in danger should Lawrence be overturned.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sodomy_laws_in_the_United_States
Texas feels like Australia’s Queensland, they still have a lot of outdated laws in the books that they can’t enforce, mostly related to “queer crimes” and vagrancy laws.
It’s a conscious choice not to scrap it, because there are people in power who never wanted it to be decriminalised in the first place and they will prevent the law being removed from the books on the off chance they can re-criminslise it when they have more control in office.
The Queensland Youth Crime act is another example, they resurrected an old law in a response to the “out of control youth crime rate” (the youth crime rate increased by 6% on 22-23, but then decreased 6.7% in 23-24, they introduced the new youth crime act at the end of 2024, after the crime rate was already decreasing.)
As a result of the new Act, police can put spit hoods on children “for police safety”, and any child over 10 can be trailed as an adult, oh, and detention is not a “last resort” anymore.
Being a police officer is a job so I completely understand and respect a police officers right to a safe workplace. But putting a spit hood on a kid is not the solution. Properly funding the youth mental health care system, and reforming the foster care system would do so much more for youth crime, community safety and police safety than spit hoods will ever do. In the long run, treating children like animals is only going to increase the chances that they grow up into animals, instead of healthy human members of a society. The justice system is planting the trauma that will resurface as future criminal offences and/or substance abuse issues.
Before we had been introduced, my wife’s BFF told her I might be gay because I like opera.
I remember in school we kids had ‘gay’ tests we would do on each other. Depending on how you checked your nails or shoe for dirt, stuff like that.
In my school you were gay if your index finger was shorter than your ring finger, or if your wore one earring.
I remember kids in the '60s making a big deal that our milk cartons said “homo” on them.
deleted by creator
What about if your palm was bigger than your face?
That means you have cancer. Go ahead, test it out!
you were gay if your index finger was shorter than your ring finger
And then when they hold up their hand to check, you slap it into their face.
I had the earring thing in mine too, but it had to be the right ear to be gay. Left ear was fine.
I’ve heard of that and always assumed it was part of some club/bar culture. A shorthand way of signaling to potential hookups who you were looking for. Never paid it much attention in my day to day life though.
Also, I assumed two earrings meant you were bi.
“left is right, right is wrong”
Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three lefts do.
This is a holdover of gay hookup codes.
Basically every generation of queer folk back when being queer meant a legitimate threat to life (imprisonment, castration, torture or violence) or through precarity (being disowned, losing one’s job or benefits) queer folk lived like spies and used codes to quietly signal their status to others. There are some that have been easily lost to history but some would either be decoded and then become too dangerous to use openly… Or the straights would think it’s neat and adopt the fashion without realizing what it actually was being used for likewise making it too dangerous to openly use. So there’s these layers of abandoned code.
Modern codes are more complex and not as covert as folk have realized that a lot of straights wouldn’t know queer code if it came up and performed a drag routine on their nose. Like Pride events people wear flag colors that tell you what their deal is but straight folk only really tend to recognize maybe a handful. Others are less obvious, there’s a club color code of bandana that is very specific to kink and sexual orientation depending on what color and how you wear it.
deleted by creator
Theres a southpark episode about this.
