So i still have depression and im constantly bored, i feel like a loser who cant do anything right. I want to let my creativeness out, make something i can share with the world or family, but im probably dreaming too big. I cant stand being depressed and bored, it stinks, everyone tells me to work out but i lack the motivation to do so.
i usually just watch youtube all day while complaining to family members that have no idea what to do about me.
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As Heliumfart said, music works well. Even if you’re not musically inclined you can get a small midi keyboard and bash at it using some free software, is very accessible nowadays! (Plenty of YouTube tutorials, I use reaper but plenty of other free tools to try). As far as working out goes, I lacked the motivation too, but then got a couple of dumbbells and would do some small movements while watching movies or shows at home. It’s slow progress but eventually gets to the point that you enjoy it. You’re already sat there watching TV, so this is just adding one small thing into that. I do feel more motivated after moving a little, so maybe that would work for you.
Therapy is the best hobby.
Since you mentioned that you want to create something to share, then art of any kind, including music, is what I’d suggest too. Pour yourself into whatever art or music you are creating and it will turn out well. The key word there is “creating.” Art and music, when you are creating it, forces you into the present. There’s no room for you to wonder out into the past or the future, which don’t exist except in your head. Art forces you into the present and the present moment is the only place you will find peace, joy, creativity, and love.
Exercise is what helped me. I tried kayaking, found it to be nice but a lot of overhead. So cycling became a passion. Cover a lot of ground, see nature, get a lot of perspective, release endorphins in a healthy way. I did both road cycling and mountain biking.
It basically saved me from some dark times. I have a young child now, so on a hiatus, but will be back to it once she is old enough to go on rides.
Start playing a musical instrument. Works for me
i second this and recommend Piano/Keyboard.
A cheap Keyboard is probably found for 40-50 bucks online and it is a good starting point to also get into the music theory.
Still the skill ceiling is practically endless.
Same. I’d go crazy without piano / guitar.
Keyboard is good. I personally would recommend bass guitar if you like rock music. If you can save up $200-300 and buy a used Squire Precision or Squire Jazz bass, it will literally last you years as long as you change the strings regularly and learn how to do an at-home setup.
You can pick up the basics and start jamming with people really fast, but the skill ceiling is deceptively high. Bassists are the hardest to find in any band.
The instrument is fun as hell too.
Plus it’s great to just dump your emotions into as well — especially if you try and learn how to improvise, which is easier than you’d think!
100%
You’ll feel great teaching yourself an instrument. Dive right into it. Look up simple things at first, and practice it. Then look up another thing that you don’t how to do and practice it. The time goes by fast and before you know it you realize you understand it.It’s an amazing feeling.
Ukulele is a fun starting instrument, and you can get a serviceable one for ~$50.
Tons of YouTube tutorials, too.
Ukulele is such an underrated instrument too! It gets ragged on for no reason at all. I’ve been playing guitar fairly seriously for over two decades and have great guitars, but 90% of the time I find myself with my shitty 10 dollar, plastic-looking (paint) ukulele that has a hole on the back because it was thrown at a wall and writing more songs and still finding new things for playing guitar, just because. My playing transformed once I bought that little thing. I’ve written my best songs on it.
Yeah I’d played steel strings for years, but picked up the uke my kid had (but never played) at the beginning of the pandemic. Played that thing nonstop and then got my own. Also got a nylon string guitar because I loved playing fingerstyle on uke so much. Like you said, it changed how I played guitar.
For me getting back into LEGO really helped, it’s a nice and relaxing activity. Also depending on your interests a hobby like flying FPV quadcopters can be a lot of fun. Forces you to go outside too which is always good :-)
I also got into Legos when I was depressed. In general, working with your hands helps with depression.
How do you feel about finding things difficult and failure? Because that’s really important to consider when thinking of suggestions. It also depends how dedicated or how hard you are on yourself.
Exercise is the best cure for depression. Get a bicycle and start exploring new places around you. Endurance exercise is most useful for balancing metabolism and hormones. Do it every day, and only for your well being. You may find it is life altering. It only takes around 2 months of pushing yourself when the routine seems difficult. After the initial startup, it becomes harder and harder to stop the routine over time.
A lot of my advanced curiosities and interests all started from needing to fix stuff like my first car, or putting together junk PC parts to get something to play Doom back in the day when Doom was barely on the trailing edge of gaming. Learn to use FOSS tools on a computer. There is a free way to do everything. If you learn these tools well, it will pay off substantially in life. The entire digital underworld runs on open source software.
I’ve been severely depressed before. I’m not a physical activity person. I don’t like sports overall, and doing some sports makes me feel tired and shitty. I know the idea is to be tired, but that just makes me feel worse. My body hurts and I feel useless because it is so difficult for me to do basic shit. Basically makes depression worse for me.
Thank you, also do you have any foss tool recommendations?
There’s are open source communities here! If you search for them, there’s several and they are all good. “Opensource” has a megathread somewhere that will give you an idea.
Get a bicycle and start exploring new places around you.
Especially during the sun rise. It totally starts your day bit fresh if that could help you a bit.
Yes I hate waking early but a walk or run at sunrise is one of the most encouraging activities of anything I have ever done. Go walk and see the dawning of the day.
@QuietStorm I find gardening a great help. Watching something grow, taking care of flowers and veggies is rewarding.
Outdoor gardening is surprisingly easy to get into and it is super cool to see how big plants can get with a little water and care. Also it’s like a pet in that it helps you get out on the bad days since they need tending.
Whittling is also a good one, low investment and relatively simple.
I was in a similar boat and I really can’t overstate how much working your way into an exercise routine will help. It feels impossible to start at first, but if you just commit to 30 minutes daily of walking/stretching/yoga, you’ll be amazed how quickly it goes from being an awful chore that takes tons of willpower, to a regular part of your routine that feels weird to skip.
Exercise is like a weird super power that genuinely makes you more confident, gives you more energy for mental tasks, and makes the rest of your life better. When I think back on my adult life, my mental health has always tended to go down when I would stop exercising, and it’s only when I would start again that things started getting better
30 minutes was too much for me to even contemplate when I was at my most depressed, so I started at 5 minutes of just doing arm rotations, hip rotations, and ankle rotations.
Still helped, and I didn’t have the added physical fatigue of a full workout on top of my anhedonia. And eventually, since I was already out of my bed, it also got me thinking about what else I could do in 5 minute intervals.
I’m not saying it cured my depression, cleared my skin, and did my taxes. But the 5 minutes of dedicated movement of my body every day was my first step in managing my mood and tackling the monster depression had become in my life.
I’d like to add to that that if you have ADHD the “quickly goes from chore to regular part of your routine” might never happen. That’s not your fault, you are not lazy, you are just not able to form routine habits.
Well, fuck.
Photography - added benefit is that you will usually go out for this
Music - an instrument is good
Drawing/Painting
Programming (hit or miss, I found learning unity was fun)
Video making - recording video games playthroughs, cooking, and so on.
Finally, one that usually everyone probably also may mention - Therapy - not a hobby but having to be able to talk about it is often good
This is of course not an exhaustive list - but it depends on what your interests are. Hope this is a good pointer to what you’re looking for.
i have been wanting to do game making but im not sure because i cant code, so matter hard i try i cant, ive wanted to try ai but that seems to ruin the point kinda, so i guess im up for recommendations for languages or engines but idk, also im major dylexic.
ive also wanted to make a comic but im not sure where to start or how to come up with a good idea.
ive wanted to make videos and post them but im not sure who would watch my trash gaming videos and even where to post them at?
got any more advice because from what you said theses 3 interest me and i have a low end computer too, and also im trying to get into therapy.
You can start small with making comics by downloading a free drawing app and just experimenting. The one I use is called ibis Paint X but there really are tons of them.
What I do is when I notice I’m just scrolling for no reason, I’ll switch apps and try to draw something instead. Sometimes I like what I draw and other times I don’t; the important thing is to just spend time doing it.
If you want to get into things but are unsure how to get started, I recommend checking out your local community college. Having a class is nice because it provides the starting point and goal so you don’t get overwhelmed with where to start. I find I really benefit from the schedule that taking classes enforces, otherwise I find myself really struggling to make progress when I do learning on my own. Also it comes with its own built in community that you can reach out to if you’re stuck. Classes tend to be really affordable so it’s a way to try things out casually.
You could join many of those together with renpy. It’s a really easy to understand Visual Novel engine. You’d do a video game that’s basically a comic. In the end it doesn’t matter if your game ever gets finished, just expressing ideas onto the screen can be super fun as well.
Even if your Computer is slow, you can do some low end 3d artwork with Daz studio for example to get the visuals. 3Dlight is an admittedly old render engine but it will let you do some characters and such for your novel.
Programming can be really rewarding and creative. It can also be really, really frustrating, because it might take ages to fix a problem just because some tiny detail went wrong. That might be a problem if you’re struggling with motivation and confidence.
Making something. I’m taking lessons on metalworking, and it’s really satisfying to have something that I made which can be useful in my daily life.
ive been wanting to make a game or something, like that but honestly im not sure, i cant even code, i wonder if there is something easier to do?
That’s a great point. If you start out with a definite objective like that, it’s going to be hard to get past the depression hump. I know for me I have to give myself more general objectives. So instead make a goal of learning how to code. You can find tons of lessons online that are aimed at teaching kids, and they typically have a gamigication component to them. That quick hit of serotonin is what you need to stay with it. If, instead, you start out wanting to make a game app for your phone, you’ll quit when it gets too hard.
Hiking.
I cannot stress this enough.
One of the biggest loops of depression is feeling anhedonic and drained of energy, which keeps you from doing stuff, which keeps you anhedonic and drained of energy.
Go for a hike literally every single day for a whole month. Rate your depression on a scale of 1-10 every day a week before you start, every single day during, and then every day for a week after. You’ll see the trend, and hiking will be your new antidepressant.
It’s easy. It’s walking. It’s not competitive, you can go hilariously slowly and still accomplish your goal. You can add hobbies to this hobby, like photography or bird watching. You’re probably not getting enough exercise, and being depressed all the time blows.
If you’re nerdy and depressed, you may have heard about EMDR, where you sway your eyes back and forth rhythmically while you think about trauma. The doctor who came up with the treatment (that’s showing crazy good results) went down the rabbit hole they went down because they noticed walking in the woods helping their depression. They currently think the mechanism has something to do with bilateral stimulation (walking) and constant reframing of your perspective (tree on my right, tree on my left, rock on my right, rock on my left).
Other physical activities are great too, but hiking seems literally taylor made for the depressed.
Do you struggle with anxiety and destructive ruminative thought patterns? Guess what you won’t have the energy to do when you’re panting for air?
Hiking is a legit way to maintain depression indefinitely. Don’t get cozy, though. take a break and your brain will find its way back to it’s old antics.
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Oh wow, I didn’t know the theory behind EMDR, but I’ve had great success treating my anxiety and depression with both EMDR and hiking. Makes a lot of sense!
+1000
This was an amazing help last year when my wife was had really bad PTSD symptoms from a medical crisis she had. We walked 3+ miles almost every day last fall through January. She started getting better around then, and we started shortening our walks to 1 mile a day throughout the spring.
Now it’s over 100°F every single day and we are stuck inside for at least another month. Luckily she’s doing well these days, but I do miss our walks.
Came here to say this. If you have anyone in your life who would be willing to keep you accountable by being your hiking buddy, that helps me a lot. Before my partner and I got together, she was my friend who liked hiking and got tips from a Facebook group on good locations. Every weekend, she had picked a place for us to go. Since I didn’t want to let her down, I got my ass out the door. I never regretted a single hike because they were all to great nature spots.
I realize this is limited by geography. I’m lucky to live in a place with a lot of great trails. I used to live in a place that was flat and uninteresting, so this depends on having access to nice trails.
And if you like to compete with yourself, dish golfing. It’s cheap(at least it can be), and it’s basically competitive hiking :)
If you want to throw stuff while hiking, Disc Golf is for you. Honestly I owe playing disc golf much appreciation to getting out of a big slump I was in and losing weight. It’s like hiking, but with a mini game built in.
Running too. Almost every activity that makes you sweat can trigger the EMDR effect, and of course has a load of knock-on effects too
The key component of EDMR is bilateral asynchronous stimulation.
So not anything that makes you sweat can give you the benefits of EMDR. It must engage your left and right hemispheres over and over.
i.e. bench pressing will make you sweat, is in no way EMDR.
I used to hike. Been feeling down lately. This is a great reminder, thank you
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Start with a walk around the block 😊
Real talk though? Google “no zero days”. It’s a reddit post from like 10 years ago. That guys post still helping people get away from where you’re at. Helped me back in 2012.
In case Reddit goes down, the account/comment gets deleted, or you just don’t want to click the link:
/u/ryans01: Ouch. Sounds like you’re having a tough time max. That sucks. I’ve been there, so I kinda know what you’re talking about. I’ve been in the ever circling vortex of self doubt, frustration, and loathing. It’s no bueno. I know. If you don’t mind lemme tell you a couple things. You can read em if you want, read em again later if you feel like it. But honestly man, if I spend all this time typing this out to you and you don’t let it be a little tinder for your fire, well, you’re just letting us both down. And you don’t HAVE to do that. You don’t HAVE to do anything. But you get to choose.
(Who am I? My name’s Ryan and I live in Canada. Just moved to a new city for a dream job that I got because of the rules below. I owe a lot of my success to people much cooler, kinder, more loving and greater than me. When I get the chance to maybe let a little bit of help out, it’s a way of thanking them. )
Rule numero uno - There are no more zero days. What’s a zero day? A zero day is when you don’t do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. I’m not saying you gotta bust an essay out everyday, that’s not the point. The point I’m trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didnt’ do anything all fucking day and it’s 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero. You feel me? When you’re in the super vortex of being bummed your pattern of behaviour is keeping the vortex goin, that’s what you’re used to. Turning into productivity ultimate master of the universe doesn’t happen from the vortex. It happens from a massive string of CONSISTENT NON ZEROS. That’s rule number one. Do not forget.
La deuxieme regle - yeah i learnt french. its a canadian thing. please excuse the lack of accent graves, but lemme get into rule number 2. BE GRATEFUL TO THE 3 YOU’S. Uh what? 3 me’s? That sounds like mumbo jumbo bullshit. News flash, there are three you’s homeslice. There’s the past you, the present you, and the future you. If you wanna love someone and have someone love you back, you gotta learn to love yourself, and the 3 you’s are the key. Be GRATEFUL to the past you for the positive things you’ve done. And do favours for the future you like you would for your best bro. Feeling like shit today? Stop a second, think of a good decision you made yesterday. Salad and tuna instead of Big Mac? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Was yesterday a nonzero day because you wrote 200 words (hey, that’s all you could muster)? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Saved up some coin over time to buy that sweet thing you wanted? THANK YOU. Second part of the 3 me’s is you gotta do your future self a favour, just like you would for your best fucking friend (no best friend? you do now. You got 2. It’s future and past you). Tired as hell and can’t get off reddit/videogames/interwebs? fuck you present self, this one’s for future me, i’m gonna rock out p90x Ab Ripper X for 17 minutes. I’m doing this one for future me. Alarm clock goes off and bed is too comfy? fuck you present self, this one’s for my best friend, the future me. I’m up and going for a 5 km run (or 25 meter run, it’s gotta be non zero). MAKE SURE YOU THANK YOUR OLD SELF for rocking out at the end of every.single.thing. that makes your life better. The cycle of doing something for someone else (future you) and thanking someone for the good in your life (past you) is key to building gratitude and productivity. Do not doubt me. Over time you should spread the gratitude to others who help you on your path.
Rule number 3- don’t worry i’m gonna too long didnt’ read this bad boy at the bottom (get a pencil and piece of paper to write it down. seriously. you physically need to scratch marks on paper) FORGIVE YOURSELF. I mean it. Maybe you got all the know-how, money, ability, strength and talent to do whatever is you wanna do. But lets say you still didn’t do it. Now you’re giving yourself shit for not doing what you need to, to be who you want to. Heads up champion, being dissapointed in yourself causes you to be less productive. Tried your best to have a nonzero day yesterday and it failed? so what. I forgive you previous self. I forgive you. But today? Today is a nonzero masterpiece to the best of my ability for future self. This one’s for you future homes. Forgiveness man, use it. I forgive you. Say it out loud.
Last rule. Rule number 4, is the easiest and its three words. exercise and books. that’s it. Pretty standard advice but when you exercise daily you actually get smarter. when you exercise you get high from endorphins (thanks body). when you exercise you clear your mind. when you exercise you are doing your future self a huge favour. Exercise is a leg on a three legged stool. Feel me? As for books, almost every fucking thing we’ve all ever thought of, or felt, or gone through, or wanted, or wanted to know how to do, or whatever, has been figured out by someone else. Get some books max. Post to reddit about not caring about yourself? Good first step! (nonzero day, thanks younger me for typing it out) You know what else you could do? Read 7 habits of highly successful people. Read “emotional intelligence”. Read “From good to great”. Read “thinking fast and slow”. Read books that will help you understand. Read the bodyweight fitness reddit and incorporate it into your workouts. (how’s them pullups coming?) Reading is the fucking warp whistle from Super Mario 3. It gets you to the next level that much faster. That’s about it man. There’s so much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days, but that’s not your mission right now. Your mission is nonzero and forgiveness and favours. You got 36 essays due in 24 minutes and its impossible to pull off? Your past self let you down big time, but hey… I forgive you. Do as much as you can in those 24 minutes and then move on.
I hope I helped a little bit max. I could write about this forever, but I promised myself I would go do a 15 minute run while listening to A. Skillz Beats Working Vol. 3. Gotta jet. One last piece of advice though. Regardless of whether or not reading this for the first time helps make your day better, if you wake up tomorrow, and you can’t remember the 4 rules I just laid out, please, please. Read this again. Have an awesome fucking day ☺
tldr; 1. Nonzero days as much as you can. 2. The three you’s, gratitude and favours. 3. Forgiveness 4. Exercise and books (which is a sneaky way of saying self improvement, both physical, emotional and mental)
What a comment! Love it so much. Just trying to do something today - the act of trying is the most important thing
Little things that make solo hikes even more enjoyable:
- Merlin Bird Sound ID app.
- Bringing one piece of hard candy with you
- If you must listen to something, get earphones with a transparency setting where you can still hear birds and leaves crunching under your feet
- A dog
Walking, or running, is good for your brain in almost every way. My depression was/is coupled with social anxiety so it was hard to get myself to do it but things like walking to the grocery store instead of biking/car helped me change that into ‘I’ll take a detour’.
The worst hobbies for me are the ones that are done sitting still, or anything that ‘creates’ a different ‘reality/world’. For me that was anything behind my pc. Woodworking is better for me and allows me not to worry about social stuff but walking is definitely better for my brain.
I have started to knit. I usually will watch TV or listen to a podcast and as I become better, I try more complex projects that force me to put more thought in what I’m doing.
I started out not doing anything specific, basically different lengths of squares and rectangles, because I also struggle with motivation to do anything. It was really just so I would have something to do and keep myself busy with. Then I started to include more simple techniques and then motifs and now patterns. If it’s something that interests you, I think it’s a great way to get distracted and at the end of it, you get a “reward” (being whatever you knit).
I hope you find something that helps you and that eventually you overcome depression.
