When this happens I tend to start just throwing stuff out there because then all of a sudden they know what they DON’T want. Helps to narrow it down.
“The missile knows where it is at all times. It knows this because it knows where it isn’t.”
Just list all the dishes in existence except one, then whatever dish remains must be the one
I do this, but to myself. I decide I’m gonna make a specific meal, and if I don’t want it I’ll inevitably find something I want more and make that instead.
I need to try that. :D
My partner asks me what I want for dinner, and I say it doesn’t matter, we’ll have whatever you want. They reply with “I always pick, and it’s exhausting, you need to pick” and I say… “hamburgers.”
“Nope, had them yesterday”
“Ramen?”
“Not feeling Ramen today”
“Indian?”
“I already have acid reflux”
“Italian?”
“I’m Italian’d out”
“Look, you’re the one with the restrictive diet. I’m literally a human garbage can and I will eat anything in my vicinity, you clearly have opinions on what you want to eat, and I don’t want to play food 20 questions until I guess what you want for dinner tonight, so just pick already”
“Why do I always have to pick?”
It’s literally been the same conversation every night for 3 years so far. I’m about ready to just record my responses in order to expedite the decision.
Make a rule that one of you has to propose three options, and the other has to pick one of those three. Your partner can choose which role they want.
It’s a bit like telling two children that one can cut the cake, but the other gets first pick - but it’s a hack to combat your own (collective) indecisiveness.
yup. also its dependent on what is achievable to do that day. Whats in the house, is ordering out fine?
I’ve hacked this problem by instead of asking “what do you want to eat?” asking “guess what we’re eating?” Then responding “You’re right!” to whatever she says.
To break the cycle, if it’s obvious that neither person has the desire to commit, ask instead “well, what are our options?” Then start listing and working through what’s actually feasible and evaluate each one by one in no particular order. Humans are better at deciding how they feel about the one possibility than choosing one out of an seemingly infinite pool. Go with the first one that feels right and available.
Me and my buddies hang out once a week, and we got the “i dunno what do you want to eat” issue resolved by simply mandating a pick rotation. Wouldn’t necessarily work for spontaneous stuff but for our purposes it does just fine.
“What do* you want to eat for dinner?”
*did 💀
My trick is to choose 3 options, tell them to pick 2 of those, then I pick from those 2.
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