For me its probably someone who uses tiktok.
During my last relationship my ex started using tiktok and for the few weeks she used it i had to listen to the dumbest “facts” as well as borderline malicious relationship and life advice. The bad misinformation is nothing compared to the repetitive nature of the music. She stopped using it on her own accord I didn’t force anything.
I still live with someone who is a heavy tik tok user and almost every time she says "i saw this tiktok… " I know I’m about to hear some dumb bullshit.
The app manipulates people, wastes their time and is full of undeclared product advertising. For my sanity I cannot date someone who thinks it’s OK to use that app.
That’s just describing all social media. One of mine would be somebody who hates tiktok because it’s trendy to hate TikTok when it’s not really any different from any other social platform.
I have a low opinion of most other social media platforms but to me tiktok is on another level.
Honestly curious what aspects of the platform (not the content, which is platform agnostic) make it stand out for you
Short content, endless feed, catchy music to grab attention, watching a tiktok counts as liking it algowise which promotes attention grabbing. Owned by ccp. There’s probably more but that’s off the top of my head.
I asked about what aspects of the platform, not the content which is platform agnostic. You literally didn’t give any aspects of platform. You talked about the content, which is platform agnostic, and then you lied about its ownership.
Most of my points are about the platform not the content.
Short content - tiktok had a min video length until recently. Because of this the average video is 30s
Endless feed - tiktok has an endless scrolling feed
Tiktok has an algorithm that serves you videos you are likely to watch. This promotes attention grabbing content. This also is a repeating cycle since you are served attention grabbing content then if that content grabs your attention tiktok serves you more.
It is owned by a Chinese company and Chinese companies are beholden to the ccp.
everybody’s feed is an echo chamber. each person has access to something like 1% of the total videos posted, so two feeds will be unrecognizable. all the videos I get are about how to help Palestinian families, or short history documentaries, or a published linguist talking about interesting words, this guy who collects license plates (I don’t care about license plates but his channel is great), this guy who collects stamps and helps people evaluate the sets that they find in grandad’s closet (I don’t give a shit about stamps but the history that he talks about alongside them is great). the Green Brothers, if you’re still into them. plus all the major news outlets are on there, as well as quite a few politicians. woodworkers, clay artists, stonemasons, glass blowers, all showing their art daily
I’ve been blocking anybody who does undeclared advertising for like a year, and they just don’t show me that shit anymore
My partner totally asks me questions she hears from TikTok trends. Man vs bear, etc.
There’s some funny questions for sure. I laughed when I got asked the Rome question and I said probably every day.
Have a tidepod, it calms the nerves.
I don’t use tiktok, but some people have unusually based tiktok feeds. They can get direct footage from the genocide happening in Gaza, for example. I never get that recommended on YouTube, despite my very obvious socialist leanings, watching pro-Palestine content, etc.
This is the actual reason tiktok is being banned (if they don’t sell) after the election. One of the largest lobbying groups in America, AIPAC, in probably the most well-funded policy categories (pro-Israel policies) backs most of Congress. They’ve determined tiktok has far too much influence on American youth, and has made the Israel/Palestine divide a young/old divide more-so than a left/right divide.
There’s already a strong correlation between political leaning and age, which is problematic for the future of the fascist movement in America, but this issue falls outside the norm. You’ll find a lot of young conservatives calling for an end to the needless killing of civilians. They won’t call it a genocide because admitting Israel is a genocidal apartheid state is too far for them, but they can at least admit killing tens of thousands of children is not the right path here.
That kind of extremism (e.g not greenlighting any amount of culling of “human animals” Israel feels it needs to do) is unacceptable to the pro-Israel lobby, and they’re not used to getting this kind of pushback from the American public.
I completely disagree. I don’t think giving young people short snippets of war footage is a good thing at all. It doesn’t help them understand the conflict and warps their perspective.
They are at their most malleable and being shown extremely emotionally charged content. That’s not a good thing.
Yes, genocides are emotional. Watching children being blown up is something that should upset you. That’s actually happening in the real world.
Emotion isn’t the only thing that should inform your decisions, but pretending like you shouldn’t be upset at watching kids being blown up, or begging for their parents, or whatever else have you is just foolish.
I don’t think you understand what I was trying to get at. I don’t mean to say that genocide isn’t emotional and that we shouldn’t be upset by footage.
My response was saying that i think serving that kind of content to younger users who aren’t intentionally seeking it is insane. Tiktok algorithm pushes extreme content to it’s users which partly why I don’t like the app.
I think its fine for people my age to consume that content so my point originally was more that the content is dumb and I couldn’t be with someone who thought it was good content.
When we say younger, we might just be talking about different age groups. I imagine 16-30, and in that age range you’re not likely to come away with severe psychological scarring, but you will be deeply upset and that’s a good thing (we shouldn’t ignore genocide, we should be upset by it). Being upset leads to change.
If you’re talking about like 10 year olds watching it, sure I can agree. They can’t really do anything about it. They can’t go out and protest, or advocate for change, or vote, etc. Plus they’re much more likely to have genuine scarring. Issues sleeping, night terrors, trouble concentrating, etc.
As for “that content is dumb”, I assume you’re talking about tiktok in general. And again, for some people it’s definitely not dumb. People get served different things. Tiktok isn’t a platform trying to do good in the world, like any other social media platform it’s trying to drive engagement. However, it’s one of the few social media platforms outside of the U.S media interest groups, and that’s why the U.S is either banning them or forcing them to sell.
The end goal is to censor all of that raw footage of genocide, because it changes views. When you can hide behind rhetoric and not show how horrific the mass bombings are, you get a lot more leeway. That’s good for Israel, and why AIPAC and other Israel lobbies are the main forces behind this push in the U.S. In the end, the ban is bad for humanity (will allow the genocide to escalate without public backlash), but will be good for Israel and U.S elites.
When I say younger I am mostly talking about 12-18 but also certain people in the 18-21 range. I think after that you are emotionally capable of understanding and dealing with the evils of the world.
In response to the dumb content yeah its just content i find dumb from my point of view thats what I rate it as a trivial thing that I would turn down a partner for. Im sure for some people its riveting content but for me its trash and I dont want to be with someone who thinks it isnt.
I do not see “the only non US platform” as a good thing. Considering the country that runs it doesnt allow foreign social media and isnt exactly the bastion of free speech and moral authority. Id rather the devil I know(america) than the one I dont (china).
For the last point I agree that censoring footage of the war benefits isreal and it does sway peoples views. I dont think there is much censorship of the footage its pretty easy to find. From what i’ve seen people post the footage to youtube and then cry censorship when its taken down. But that is clearly against yt TOS and anyone sane would expect that to be taken down. Maybe there are better examples of censorship I havent seen since I dont follow tiktok,facebook,insta,reddit.twitter,mastodon.
20 year olds are not generally getting night terrors from watching disturbing content on tiktok. They’re not losing sleep, or coming away with genuine psychological scarring. We don’t need government regulations to control media content for the sake of literal adults. And children in theory should already have their content moderated by the correct degree by parents, not the government.
It’s just content I find dumb
If you watch anything on YouTube that you don’t think is dumb, there is stuff on TikTok you also wouldn’t find dumb. I don’t use TikTok either, but I think you genuinely underestimate how much content there is, and overestimate how uniform that content is.
Considering the country that runs it (…)
ByteDance already stores U.S user data within the U.S, allows third party firms to scrutinize its data privacy policies far more than any other U.S media group, and has come back with a clean bill from groups like Citizen Lab (a Canadian research lab). No U.S userdata goes to the Chinese government.
Government officials know this, they’re just putting on a show. Leaked phone calls have made this clear, the actual issue is the lack of policing around the kinds of content served. ByteDance is not aligned with U.S foreign policy interests like Meta/Google are. They are more than happy to showcase the horrors of the apartheid, genocidal state of Israel, and that’s having a real impact on the literal more than half of Americans that use TikTok.
It’s clearly against the YouTube T.O.S
Videos against YouTube’s T.O.S of the October 7th attacks have been on the platform since October of last year. They’re much more strict about removing videos showcasing the much larger-in-scale violent acts done by Israel than anything done by Hamas. TikTok isn’t. This isn’t a coincidence, and the U.S needs TikTok to fall in line here.
If they don’t young people will continue to hold extreme views, like bombing tens of thousands of children in an open air prison that has been violating the GCIV since 2007 is somehow problematic. They need the American public to have the understanding that Palestinians are simply human animals; they’re savages that need to be put down. Not unlike native americans.
Towards the end of the culling, when enough of the population has died to no longer pose a threat, they’ll give them small territories like the U.S did with native americans and feign sympathy. Imperialism hasn’t changed.
Understood. Serving emotional content is the social media stunt to grab attention. News is not The intention. And without enough context, it increases polarity in our society. Tiktok is a master of this tactic.
No passions or hobbies.
No, traveling isn’t a hobby.
I get that but why is traveling not a hobby?
Because you don’t have to work hard to master it
Since when is “mastering it” part of the definition of a hobby?
Since I said so: the post was asking what’s my deal breaker when it comes to relationships and for me it’s that your able to put effort, practice and perseverance into a craft, a hobby, a passion or whatever.
It might not be your definition, but it’s mine.
Well said.
For me, it’s “Being a Foodie”. Everybody who has ever lived on the planet has been enthusiastic for food.
I’ve only ever met one foodie I respected as such. He ate everything, even stuff that made him gag, because of reasons only he knows. He wanted the experience or something.
Man could eat a burger and tell you where the wheat was from, how ripe the tomatoes in the ketchup where, the dashed hopes and dreams of the cow, everything. He could look at ingredients from afar or smell things that have no smell to me and tell in how many days it would be perfectly ripe. He ate mono flavored stuff (Like rice with nothing else added or olive oil), used salt like a vampire hunter to detect faint tastes, and I still think he must have some undiagnosed lifestyle thing like Synesthesia, except for taste. He reverse engineered recipes for fun.
It was magic, and until this dude I didn’t consider food to be an actual hobby. Every other foodie I’ve met just liked eating tasty food, which pretty much everyone does.
Don’t get me wrong: You’re 100 % entitled to your preferences and your definition of a hobby.
It was just unusual for me to equate a hobby with putting effort and perseverance into something. For me a hobby is something you simply do for your enjoyment in your free time on a more or less regular basis.
But hey: Definitions differ.🤷
I guess because spending money is not a hobby in itself. But idk.
Traveling isn’t about spending money though. It’s expensive but that’s not the point.
it’s also not necessarily expensive, depending on where you go and how you get there.
It’s just blowing money to go exist in other places. Some people do it to simply avoid boredom. I’d argue it could be a hobby if they are putting effort into learning or collecting things or something.
Traveling and just being there is not a hobby. Traveling to, for example, visit certain types of sites or museums, maybe build a collection of photos or memorabilia, could be considered a hobby.
Isn’t doing things to avoid boredom exactly what a hobby is? :D would you consider hiking to be a hobby?
That’s a weird take on this. Which person who loves travelling then proceeds to do absolutely nothing at the destination? I mean, maybe you met people like that, but I have never in my life talked to anyone like that.
I have an ex with the same name as one of my sisters. You do that once, and it gets confusing and awkward. Twice? People start coming to really odd conclusions.
What’s wrong with names? What if it’s a different name but the looks are exactly the same?
Red neck approves
My brother’s last three serious relationships all have hadthe same name. It’s not his fault that name was popular 3 years after he was born. The girls are nothing alike.
That said it’s a struggle not to call the current one New “Sarah”
Kinda sucks, because I occasionally come across really women I would otherwise pursue for a relationship. But then they have the same name as my sister or my mom - NOPE.
wearing makeup or earrings
turns out i just don’t like that
Picky eater or stuck on music from their youth.
Someone else mentioned libido mismatch, I don’t consider that trivial.
Screw that, I’ll listen to Nofx until I die.
But only that? A lot of guys are so nostalgic about music they do not listen to new stuff, taste never grows or evolves at all, that is a bad sign to me.
Not saying abandon old music. Just open minded to new things, not stuck.
Man, with music, you like what you like.
That’s like saying your favorite desert is creme brule, and you order it all the time because it’s fucking delicious.
However, thanks for sharing.
Must say I have a hard time getting to know new music in this so rapidly changing music world.
I was used to brick and mortar stores and friends having wildly different tastes in music, nowadays I think it’s complicated to just duck under the load of influence for commercial music (and other too I guess).
How am I even supposed to find new music I like, and that I can support, without enormous efforts?
Well I miss Google Play Music so much, it was creepy how well that algorithm worked, and it could find me very local concerts. But streaming in general and we have a good community radio station here, that’s how I find so much new stuff. What old music do you like? Maybe we should start a Lemmy community to recommend bands, based on bands people like?
Good idea!
I listen mostly to 1980-90 pop rock and french music :-)
Hmm, try Misterwives and Tennis. And now I’m thinking about it, also Lady Gaga, The 1979, Leon Bridges, Beyonce.
Hey thaaanks! Will do!
It’s surprising how being stuck on music from your youth is common. While I do listen to new bands, I was reminded the other day that Futures by Jimmy Eat World is almost twenty years old.
music from their youth
You mean Sesame Street or Nickelback? What kind of ‘youth’? What if it’s Nirvana or the stones?
If it’s the SpongeBob squarepants theme then it’s ok. In fact that’s a bonus.
I will say on the picky eating habit, that can be a common behavior seen in autistic folks. With me my picky eating stems from texture - if a food feels weird in my mouth I get nasty gag reflex or vomit. Doesn’t matter how often I try, there’s foods and ingredients that, if I chew on it, I will vomit. It fucking sucks. I have to swallow my edibles whole with water cause most gummies make me vomit if I chew them.
Obviously not all picky eating habits are autism related, but myself and the other autistic picky eaters I know are just as frustrated, if not more, about having those habits.
Being stuck on music though, that I can understand. Even with me having my comfort zones, it’s always an occasion worth celebrating when I find an artist or album that absolutely SLAPS me silly from how rad it is.
ADHD here, big texture issues too, I still won’t eat nuts or beans, due to similar reasons (they flake apart in my mouth and I hate the feeling), I have gotten better though, I’ll eat peppers and a lot of vegetables I hated as a kid.
This makes sense but would be such a mismatch with me. Also I think kids who do not get early exposure to flavors and textures can also develop into picky adults. It’s not a judgement exactly, but a hard no nonetheless.
I am opposite and enjoy novel textures and smells and flavors, enjoy cooking and eating (and cocktails!). It’s nice to share that with people. Obviously nobody likes EVERYTHING, I sure don’t, but just having that open mind about flavors is important to me.
Music, same - I just enjoy it so much, finding new songs, going to concerts. It’s not that I don’t like old - we went to see Foo Fighters, lol, and just recently Thievery Corporation, but the list of what I like has expanded so much since I was young till now. My husband listens most to basically dad rock but will come out to see new bands and quite often is so impressed and loves the music and performance, and he will hear stuff me or the kids are playing, ask about it and add it to his playlist. His mind is not closed.
Insisting on having sex with me.
define… “insist”, because that’s reading like “I don’t like people who rape me”, which seems reasonable and not a small thing.
I don’t understand. Like, they just want that to be a part of the relationship? Or they’re pushy?
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Is bad breath trivial? True story.
No
Nah. It’s a health thing, a hygiene thing, and a lack of social awareness. Nothing trivial about it
Celebrity/billionaire worship. Just no. It means their values are wildly erratic.
Smoking.
Not at all trivial!
For some it is. Sadly
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…how is smoking supposed to be connected to race? In any way?
Menthols maybe? And that it’s harder for people of a lower socioeconomic status to quit smoking? Otherwise, no idea.
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My home theater. I love movies and if someone said I couldn’t have it hooked up to the main TV I’d walk. I’d rather date someone who either enjoys it or at least it’s neutral on having there.
Also I don’t care if they have a garden. But it will be classified as a hobby, not as yard work or house work when they work in it. Because I’ll never work in one.
If it’s something you want and your partner doesn’t care one way or the other about, it shouldn’t factor in.
If you want to make the candles you use around the house, maybe they smell nice, maybe they get used, maybe they’re cheaper than store-bought, but that’s a hobby.
If you do a bunch of baking, especially for people outside the home but even inside it, and your partner isn’t all about you cooking, that’s a hobby, and you clean up your own mess. That’s not chores (unless you’re getting paid).
Chores are necessities to keep the communal house going, not anything that takes effort.
Exactly. I fully agree
I agree with the basic maintenance thing being a chore, but I understand where OP is coming from. So if one person out of the pair decides with previous warning that they want to plant a bunch of stuff then it’s their responsability to take care of them.
In my situation for example, I live with my partner in an apartment, and the vases are his to maintain and take care of. We’ve talked about where we would live next and my parter wants a yard and I don’t. So I’ve forewarned him that if we have a yard in a future house it belongs to him, and any decisions to move to a house with a yard come with that agreement. This is all very different situation to living in a house with a yard already, or not having the choice when moving for some reason.
I don’t expect help in the garden on an everyday basis, no way. I do what I want with it, don’t take requests, so it’s mine and my responsibility. But since everyone gets food out of it, they do help occasionally with bigger things; carrying dirt from front driveway to garden, building planters.
Home theater, who cares? Wouldn’t everyone put that on the biggest TV? We have only one TV but if there were two of course the bigger one would make the most sense.
Oh, on that - TV in the bedroom is a no for me, too. Doesn’t matter for casual, but if I am living somewhere I never want a TV in the bedroom. Music speaker yes, that’s fine. TV no way. Thankfully we’ve had space outside of bedroom for gaming and TV and computer, that is very important to me.
Uses tabs instead of spaces.
But once they go through the compiler they’re essentially the same!
// think people missed the reference
But I don’t want a GF who’s gone through a compiler
but she will be optimised for your hardware!
I’m using both a the same time, one tab, two space, another tab…
This way everyone is happy.
You’re a maniac- in the best way possible.
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Drinks Tab in Space.
who does this?
At least to the people around me, frequent substance us.
How do you feel about caffeine?
I would argue that doesn’t qualify as trivial.
What my friends would say to me is “who cares if they do a bit of weed (understatement), or get drunk once or twice a month?”
Personally, if you need substances to have fun, you’re boring.
Uses spaces instead of tabs.
Username checks out
If they smoke
I wouldn’t consider that trivial though
My buddy said this for years … until he found an exception. Oh, was she gorgeous and kind and just a joy to be around when she wasn’t smoking. The universe has a sense of humour, and it’s mean.
Your buddy: I can… fix…her…
Narrator: he started smoking 2 days later.
Uses spaces instead of tabs.
i’d probably use tabs if they weren’t so massive by default.
do people actually use 8 space wide tabs? if so, what for?
Most editors have them at 4 by default.
oh. i guess i’m using the wrong editors then :P
As someone who has primarily used spaces, I still use the tab key. I sincerely hope most space users understand that your editor can expand your tab key into spaces, and people aren’t genuinely going around spamming their spacebar 2->16 times for various indentation levels.
Spaces are kinda better, because tabs are not consistent across editors/platforms. Just please use the tab key to indent, don’t press the spacebar x times like a monkey
I prefer tabs because they aren’t consistent
I personally find 2-space indented code harder to read than 4-space. If I’m working on someone else’s codebase which is indented with 2-spaces then I have to cope. But if it’s tab-indented then I can just edit the setting in my editor to display a tab char as 4 whitespace chars
The problem is that when you then want to align stuff, you have to use spaces. So you need to use tabs for indentation and use spaces for alignment. This is actually the perfect, objectively best way to do it, but because it requires a deliberate mix of tabs and spaces, it’s too complicated to use for a large project with lots of maintainers. You just need a single maintainer doing it wrong to ruin it.
There is also the issue that you’ll often see the code in a place where you can’t control the tab length, i.e. printed in your terminal by some program that doesn’t have an option for that, or viewed on the web, like GitHub.
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