Imagine opening a phishing link and suddenly your balls are taken hostage by a hacker
WannaCry? No, WannaCum.
Can still cum, just no sperm 🥲
Cannot pee anymore :(
(because the pee is stored in the balls)
“Pay me 5 Bitcoin or I’ll give you an errection in front of the HR manager.”
Or worse
"Pay me 5 Bitcoin or you’ll never get an errection again.*
Even worse
“You are now on a per-boner subscription plan”
They could just straight up drain your balls and leave them drier than the Sahara desert.
1: Nobody would notice regardless
2: That’ll happen even without you
3: :'(
After you get snipped, it’s potentially weeks/months before you are shooting blanks, a switch like this is less of babies/no babies and more like babies/accidental babies.
Edit: sorry for facts on shit post
Yes here is an article about it. Article
The relevant part. “The binary nature of the Bimek SLV might make it seem that you can switch off your potency at will, but the body will need time to flush existing sperm out of the system, as it were. The ever-helpful FAQ says that it may take up to three months, or “until about your 30th ejaculation.” Whichever comes first is a question only you can answer.”
30th ejaculation? pfft, hold my beer and watch this.
Yep. For anyone who’s that serious about not having children, that’s more like an incentive.
Source: got snipped.
When I got mine, the doc said I should wait about two weeks then “ejaculate as frequently as possible” before returning for the scheduled checkup/semen test.
Doctor’s orders! 🫡
Lol I was given the same advice.
“Go home, rest up for two weeks, the bust as much as you can before you come back and get tested”
That’s like half a day. What am I supposed to do with the other half?
Beat your meat in the missus?
Gotta wait for the clear bill of health
I’ll hold your beer, but I’m not providing an audience.
Screw this guy. I’ll cheer you and bring you water when you’re done
Yeah…you need to be hydrating if you’re fapping several times a day.
That’s just good science.
This was my first thought. I could see this being a medical procedure in place of a vasectomy. Get switch (or something less likely to get bumped) installed and set to off. Then when you want to have kids, another procedure to turn the switch on.
People keep looking for a quick fix for male sperm control, I didn’t think it is possible. At least not as a off and on solution that keeps coming up.
Maybe this plus a urethral spermicide enema?
There’s a big difference between this and getting snipped. The difference is, like, vast. It’s a vast difference.
More of a vas deferens I think
Yes, indeed, you said the funny part aloud.
This, but I want the voice command changed to “Go go gadget genitalia”
I’d just want the Super Mario power-up/power-down sound effects.
And when you insert it you hear the sound effect from when he goes down into a pipe.
And the underground theme plays while doing it. As you get closer, the sped up version plays.
Remember to flip the switch back on when you need to pee
Not the same plumbing.
TIL. Thanks.
Contrary to common belief, pee is, in fact, stored in the balls.
Yeah, TIL about the meme. Whoosh for me.
i like how each tube has an individual switch. for when you only want some cum
Its so you can decide if its gonna be a boy or a girl
The breeding kink option
Just redirect my urethra and install a single Y-Valve. Flip the switch up and I cum out the tip, flip the switch down and I cum out my taint.
Ultimate pull-out method.
I’d say “imagine having to explain to your date why you’ve got cum in your ass”, but it sounds like you already did.
Great! Someone should write HomeAssistant integration!
Forget the Codom and Get STIs
So a toggleable vasectomy.
Trouble is you need a several days (maybe a week or more) and/or a few ejaculations to actually be sterile after a vasectomy… So this isn’t the kind of thing that you can flip on in the moment and you’re safe.
I’d just forget which one is on and which one is off. Also I have zero need for the on setting.
This is the real reason Data doesn’t tell everyone where his off switch is.
Hang on one second babe…
(clap-clap)
Things you don’t want tied to a clapper may include this device.
This seems more practical for a temporary birth control for men.
Still under development, but works like a microscopic net to prevent sperm from exiting and can be dissolved later if you do decide to have kids.
Id do this if you could get LED ground effects attached to the bait&tackle, good for the dramatic reveal
Go full RGB, acquire “Gamer Balls”.
That’s this:
The RGB just makes you nut faster.
