Went in for a crown the other day. The dentist got called away to a different patient midway through. Anesthesia started wearing off. Dentist took her time with the other patient. I was fairly tensed up by the time she got back. I was doing my best to balance being polite with limiting how much the pain affected me. The longer she was gone, the less I was able to pretend I wasn’t in pain. My strategy for pain management is tensing inwards, and I hadn’t raised my voice or cursed. I was waiting for my turn.

A friend who works there later told me that the dentist said I scared her and she thought I was going to harm her. I can’t seem to make sense of that. I can’t think of what threatening behavior I displayed, unless dentists getting attacked by patients is just a thing they have to deal with.

  • BananaTrifleViolin@kbin.social
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    11 months ago

    Sorry but there is a lot of bizarre takes in this thread. I work in healthcare - the issue here is she LEFT you during a procedure to deal with another patient after comencing your procedure. What!? What other patient - she had already started a procedure on you and had anaethetised you and then left the room? And then by the time she came back and continued the procedure she got to the point where she couldn’t provide any more anaesthetic?

    The whole thing sounds like a mess. If for example she is running multiple rooms at the same time then that is frankly bad practice and greed.

    Your friend’s feedback that you “made the dentist feel threatened” is also bizarre. You’re the one in the dentist chair, mouth open while someone is approaching your with drills and metal work. If she felt “threatened” then she should have abandoned the procedure completely - not leave and come back. Patients can be very anxious and tense - thats normal and either you know how to deal with it or you don’t. As a health care professional on the occasions you can’t deal with it, then you don’t proceed - stop, make it safe and get someone else to do it. This was an elective procedure to fix a crown - why on earth would she then proceed with a procedure after having felt “threatened” - it doesn’t make sense.

    That dental practice sounds like a joke to be honest. Either your dentist is inappropriately treating multiple patients at the same time or she is indecisive - feeling threatened, walking off for safety but then coming back and completeing the procedure makes no sense and just made everything worse. You’re hardly going to be less tense with this dentist after that experience.

    Find another dentist.

    • enthusiasticamoeba@lemmy.ml
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      11 months ago

      I fully believe the dental profession attracts a lot of sadists and freaks. Truly, I have had some horiffic experiences.

      I think the previous generations were conditioned to accept it, because the technology and techniques were much more uncomfortable. My parents are impressed as long as the dentist isn’t intentionally injuring them, lol.

      The best thing I did was switch to a practice for people with dental phobia, and they literally don’t do anything special except be very gentle, and make sure you’re well anesthesized, and communicate everything, and check in with you frequently, and give plenty of breaks. Like every dentist should do.

      People should feel free to be picky about what kind of dentist they see! You can actually have comfortable dental procedures these days!

      • Jarix@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        My dentist is great, could almost fall asleep. Took me 20 years between seeing one and it was only because i broke a tooth and had to do something about it. Glad i did. Wish i had gone sooner. If only for a cleaning

    • ilex@lemmy.worldOP
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      11 months ago

      It’s a one dentist small practice. She left and gave the assistant an assignment that didn’t require her supervision. The procedure didn’t stop. Well, it did when I wasn’t able to proceed and then we waited for her to return.

      Not sure how long we waited the first time or the second time. I only know a crown and a filling took 4.5 hours of chair time. And then I waited for 50 minutes curled up in my car in a grocery store parking lot waiting for the tylenol/advil to kick enough that I could pay attention to driving home.

      I would love another dentist now, but that might have to wait. The crown feels like some of its resin extends into my gumline which is causing swelling and pain. I was told no other dentist would help me because it would mean assuming liability for someone else’s procedure.

      I have an undignified aversion to going back to this particular dentist though. Hopefully my body can block out the memories of the sensations soon.

      • jadegear@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        Talk to a lawyer right away. This is screwed up and the lawyer may well take your case paid on contingency (eg, if and when you win a malpractice suit.)

        Good luck. 4.5 hours is an eternity in the chair and the work sounds shoddy.

  • kevinBLT@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    I suggest a new strategy for pain management, have you tried screaming as loudly as you can and making everyone around you uncomfortable until someone helps?

    Also to hell with shame, embarassment, and giving a fuck what others think, try spontaneously shouting loudly in public to get used to the idea.

    • ilex@lemmy.worldOP
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      11 months ago

      It’s a situational thing. If I hoot and holler and make the dentist tap out, then I’m left with a nearly exposed pulp chamber and then have to find someone willing to jump in midway. If she doesn’t tap out but can’t concentrate on her work, then I get a bad crown and get to pay for a root canal. Being noisy might get a more quick response, but it adds in complications. Expensive and painful complications.

  • bananaw@sh.itjust.works
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    11 months ago

    “…she thought I was going to harm her”.

    That’s unfair, your dentist caused harm to you during your procedure because they were (I’m assuming here and making connections to try and stand up for you. You gotta fill in some of the blanks here) unable to plan accordingly for your crown.

    You had a traumatic experience due to something that wasn’t your fault and it sounds like the dentist is likely unaware of how you felt. Did you speak up and let them know that you were in an amount of pain that you were having trouble dealing with during the procedure?

    • ilex@lemmy.worldOP
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      11 months ago

      Yes. The dental assistant insisted to the dentist after I started writhing. Flexing my leg muscles serves no function, but at that point I was doing anything to center myself.

      Got more Lidocane. Felt better, continued procedure. They make the crowns in house, but by the time it was done, so was the second dose. They said I shouldn’t be in pain, and they couldn’t give me anything more. The final bit of drilling on my tooth-nubbin was excruciating and the UV resin curing was unexpected - it burns.

      • teft@startrek.website
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        11 months ago

        I’m pretty resistant to novocaine and always have to ask them for more shots than they want to give. You gotta be forceful with them and stand up for yourself. It’s not worth writhing in pain because some jackass thinks they know your body better than you.

        • EmptySlime@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          My wife is incredibly resistant to Novocaine. She’s gotta arrive at the dentist just after throwing back a Klonopin and even then her most recent bit of dental work required a total of SIX VIALS on increasingly stronger Novocaine.

          But then she’ll get general anesthesia and not even get through half the pediatric dose before she’s knocked out way longer than recovery would expect despite being almost 5’11" and weighing like 190lbs. Like when she was ordering her wedding dress the people making it thought she was trolling because there’s no way her shoulders were as wide as she said they were. Iirc she had to provide a picture of her taking the measurements so they could see that she wasn’t trolling or measuring wrong.

          She’s also a super lightweight with alcohol so it’s like if it crosses the blood brain barrier she’s fucking done and if not she’s a walking tank.

          • Can_you_change_your_username@kbin.social
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            11 months ago

            Dentists have a few alternatives to Novocaine that they can use, I know lidocaine is safe for dental applications and lasts a little longer than Novocaine for most people. If she’s resistant to Novocaine but not other pain blockers she’s used it’s probably worth asking about trying something else.

      • Chai@lemmy.ml
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        11 months ago

        Do you by any chance have red hair?

        The pain medication affects red heads differently, and they usually need more than most people do.

        • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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          11 months ago

          I have ginger facial hair. My dentist told me that’s why I need more pain meds. She’s the only dentist I’ve ever had who doesn’t hurt me and it’s because she’s willing to dose me way beyond normal.

          I also get incredible anxiety waiting at the dentist (even with her, who I absolutely adore) because of the uncertainty of when the procedure will end.

          • EmptySlime@lemmy.world
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            11 months ago

            My wife is the same way. Not ginger that we can tell but the pain meds and anxiety are pretty similar. She’s gotta throw back a full Klonopin to not have ridiculous anxiety in the dentist and still needs multiple vials of numbing to do anything. Took her forever to find a dentist that actually listened to her about the Novocaine not working well and to actually get proper numbed before dental work.

            • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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              11 months ago

              If she’s got any ginger family that’s probably it. A single allele of red hair gives you the drug resistance, pain resistance, and some red facial and body hair. The second makes the head hair red

        • keefshape@lemmy.ca
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          11 months ago

          I was just coming to speculate the same thing. Fellow ginger?

          Edit - i actually have a low grade fear of going to thr dentist because it is often painful or traumatic. Finally had to tell my dentists that I have a dental fear from pain due to meds wearing off fast.

          • Chai@lemmy.ml
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            11 months ago

            Yup, I’m a fellow ginger. Fucking hate going to the dentist, it always hurts no matter how much they give me :(

  • cre0@kbin.social
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    11 months ago

    is your friend the type to constantly find themselves surrounded by drama?

    either your dentist is unprofessional af or your “friend” is having a go

  • TheDoctorDonna@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    I would suggest finding a new dentist of possible. Let your new dentist know these things before work begins. Your dentist should be going above and beyond to make sure you feel safe in such a vulnerable position, not the other way around. The opportunity to get frustrated with your dentist should have never been presented and their bottom line shouldn’t govern your pain. I have had 22 Novocaine shots for a complicated extraction because it only lasts about a half hour. And if you had the max then your dentist should have been using epinephrine along side it. Whatever it takes to make sure your experience isn’t traumatic.

    Also, your friend was out of line for bringing up a private patient experience that they weren’t a part of and the dentist was inappropriate for bringing it up to them.

  • Smoogs@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    There’s a shortage of doctors in some areas. But there’s never a shortage of dentists in comparison. You can get a new dentist. She is unprofessional and is making everything worse.

  • SmashingSquid@notyour.rodeo
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    11 months ago

    The tensing was probably causing you to give off threatening body language. Next time just speak up and tell them it’s wearing off and you’re in pain. Any good dentist won’t want you to be in pain.

    I have no idea if it’s common for them to be attacked but dental anxiety is common and a panic attack sets off the fight or flight instinct so it wouldn’t be surprising.

    • totallynotarobot@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      If a dentist sees a patient tensing up when on analgesics, they’d have to be fucking stupid to not assume that patient is in pain.

      I’m sorry this is just mind-blowing.

    • ilex@lemmy.worldOP
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      11 months ago

      The lidocaine being insufficient for the task is something I just have to deal with. Dental visits for me will always involve toe-curling pain. I require more lidocaine than is safe.

      The real secret is to mask my pain until it’s unbearable, then get the second dose. I listened to the dentist this time and spoke up whenever I was in pain. Well, that meant I got the second dose too early, so the last 30 or so minutes in the chair were raw.

      • pizza-bagel@kbin.social
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        11 months ago

        I would consider a new dentist, and probably a sedation dentist if you have issues with numbing.

        Depending on what you are having done, there is also laser dentistry. And my dentist has some special drill where he has done shallow cavities for me with no novacaine and I didn’t feel shit except the usual drilling/pressure feeling.

        This dentist just sounds shitty. Yes you were tensing up but you already told them a bunch of times you were in pain. They should have had a plan in place that y’all had agreed upon for dealing with a situation where the lidocaine wears off. Or maybe schedule you at a time where there are no other patients so they could go as fast as possible with no interruptions. Maybe I am expecting too much here but my dentist is the bomb and would easily do that for someone.

      • No no no no no!

        You should not be in pain. PERIOD.

        If the dentist is causing you more than mild discomfort they’re doing it wrong and you should not accept that! If lidocaine doesn’t work for you then they need to try other meds or different dosages.

        This has been normalized for you and it’s wrong. You deserve better.

        Find a better dentist. One who focuses on you, listens to you, doesn’t shame you for being in the pain they caused.

        • ilex@lemmy.worldOP
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          11 months ago

          I tried that. I got paranoid. Gas made the experience worse.

          e: iirc, I think they might have overhyped it as an extreme mind altering drug that would affect my ability to make decisions. The important take away I fixated on was:

          Things are not as they seem. You are not in control.

          I wasn’t able to shut the Clockwork Orange montage vibes out.

          In retrospect, I had gas a bunch of years prior. It’s mild af.

  • catchy_name@feddit.it
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    11 months ago

    She probably saw from your eyes and expression how stressed you were. You might have looked a little “wild-eyed” to her. She barely knows you so she wouldn’t know with confidence that you behave well under pressure.

    I suggest that you leave a message informing your dentist of what happened here regarding insufficient pain management. You can include an apology if you want for seeming stressed.

    The goal here is to inform her that she can do a more thorough job managing pain. Part of that needs to be telling her patients to speak up as soon as they begin to feel pain. I’ll bet that had you told staff of the pain they’d have found a way to manage it. Probably the Dr would have popped over and dosed you with something.

    • ilex@lemmy.worldOP
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      11 months ago

      I did let them know. I did the hand raising earlier in the procedure. When I felt it wearing off, I alerted the dental assistant who was with me. I let her know an approximate time table based on the pain.

      There was an issue with how much lidocane they were able to give me. I burned through the max. After that, there simply wasn’t anything they could do for me.

      • robocall@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        IMO If the dentist was with another patient long enough for the lidocaine to wear off, they should have provided more without charge.

      • catchy_name@feddit.it
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        11 months ago

        I’m sorry that you had to go through that. Hopefully the dentist is alarmed at this failure and reflects on ways to avoid it in future procedures.

      • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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        11 months ago

        There’s a Serial podcast series called The Extractions. A nurse stole pain killers and replaced it with saline. I doubt that’s happening here, but you could raise the issue that they might have faulty meds. Sorry to post multiple comments. This is a topic near and dear to me because it hits close to home.