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“Accidentally”
You’re a monster.
You know you could have given them a little taste without harm, even though it has more salt than their food.
The cats have a little bit of tuna, as a treat
Everyone should have both types of cat.
Okay but hear me out:
And now I’ve got 2 demons running wild
Who just eats an entire can of tuna
I buy the little pouches of tuna and eat it with a fork. But it’s usually flavored.
The spicy Thai chili one is really good on rice, too. I usually add some sriracha mayo on top and call it a poor man’s poke bowl.
I’m more of a sardines from the tin kinda fella.
In oil. Water packed sardines are disgusting.
I sometimes scoop tuna out of the can with saltines. Pretty good 0 effort snack.
Also good source of protein.
and mercury
Accidentally for that matter…
I like tuna
I’m a gourmand and a lazy one. If I go thru the effort to open a package, I’ll probably eat the whole thing. I’m trying to get better at portion control, but I’m many months in and my instincts are no better, and I’m less happy.
A can of tuna is about 250 kcal. That is not bad, and it’s all protein. You could do way worse!
Only success I ever had was envelope budgeting calories. You’ve gotta approach it like your instincts are already broken and hopefully if you’re not type 2 diabetic yet you can fix it before you are and your hormones are also broken on top of your instincts. Trying to fix it after getting diabetes is much harder, because now you’re not only wrestling with learned behavior but an actual dysfunctional metabolic system.
Back when my weight started with a 3, I was told I was pre-diabetic, but I’m much better now, and my current GP hasn’t mentioned diabetes to me at all. I got down to 201 lbs. towards the beginning of the year, but I’m 220 today. (Current goal is 197, but 165 would be better.)
I tried intermittent fasting both sticking to a 16/8 for a few months and separately abstaining entirely for a couple of weekends. Didn’t really help reset my instincts / cravings.
I still feel hungry more often than I should eat. I have gotten into the habit of trying to silence the rumbling guts with calorie-free fluids and waiting 30 minutes, but frequently I find myself still hungry and in a worse mood after that wait.
If I stick to the diet I have planned, I will lose weight, and sometimes I can do that, but it’s getting harder and less frequent.
I find that one can of tuna is just about the right amount for one meal of tuna salad for one person (if you’re not having it with anything extra, like bread).
Cats
Hi, it’s me, the tuna can eater. It’s tasty!
If I wake up hungry, my cat and I are going to eat a can of tuna in the middle of the night.
What authorities do I even report this to? Bastet?
Sekhmet seems more appropriate, though depicted with a lion’s head not a housecat’s.
Sekhmet acted as the vengeful manifestation of Ra’s power, the Eye of Ra. Sekhmet is said to breathe fire, and the hot winds of the desert were likened to her breath. She is also believed to cause plagues. (Wikipedia)
She would sort that shit out.
Report submitted.
I marked it as urgent.(Yes! I couldn’t remember the name & I wasn’t sure anyway, but I knew Bestet was depicted as kitty so in my laziness of not wanting to do one single search I went with the safer choice)
CPS. Cat protection agency
* Gathered concern *
You monster
I remember eating a can of tuna in front of my cat, she stood on her hind legs and emitted the slowest plaintive meow ever. She must have win awards for best begging kitty ever.
Better sleep with your eyes open tonight
And mouth closed.
That’s actually less scary than I was thinking. Thought it was gonna be a cat shitting in someone’s mouth. I’d rather have my soul stolen than that.
Scared the crap out of me as a kid. Didn’t stick though. I have two cats who sleep, purring, with me every night. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
That movie was literally about the cat saving her life from a little troll monster that actually did steal children’s breath.
While that might be true, you’re stealing my narrative.
So I’m a total pet-drug-pusher. I had a cat who seriously jonesed for breve (half-and-half) so I gave her a milliliter a day. My dog today needs peanut-butter like it’s the ambrosia of the gods. It’s a small treat every once in a while.
Out of respect for your friends of fur, allowing them a small dose might enhance their enjoyment of life a bit, especially since we are social beings who enjoy sharing a meal with each other. And unlike half-and-half, cats can actually digest tuna.
I trained my cat to eat plain chicken by tearing off little pieces and any time he didn’t go for it I’d make sure he watched me eat a little. Do that, offer him the other half of the piece I ate, repeat a few times. Now he knows whenever there is a new food if I’m trying to give it to him and I take little bites that he should try it too. It’s a lot of fun
My cats are dum though. I’ll crack open a can of tomatoes and they freak out thinking it’s dinner time. I let them sniff it, but then they look confused.
Same when I’m getting some Tums. They think it sounds like greenies.
Oh, man. The amount of times I’d exasperatedly repeat to my cat “it’s beans!” or someone similar and let them smell the can I’m opening. I know you know this doesn’t smell like tuna, you fuzzy idiot…
Same when I’m getting some Tums. They think it sounds like greenies.
Can relate. All my cats think my pill bottles are the same as the treat shaker. I always end up giving them a treat afterwards because I feel bad.
who seriously jonesed for breve (half-and-half)
Doesn’t compute, what does this mean?
Cream that goes in your coffee.
“Jones” is an American slang word meaning to be addicted to something, so “jonesing” for something means to crave something very strongly, and generally very vocally.
“Breve” is a coffee drink that is commonly made with half-and-half, which is a product that is equal parts cream and milk. I assume that people have taken to using the term to refer to half-and-half itself, but I’ve not personally heard that.
So the sentence is saying that their cat was addicted to half-and-half and would act like a junkie doing anything to get their next fix.
The Geneva Conventions forbade this.
The one on the right looks priceless
The one on the left looks like it’s considering mugging them…
I used to have a cat that generally wouldn’t beg for food unless I made something with tuna. Even then he wouldn’t beg while I was making it but I would find him sitting on my desk in the other room (where I ate) waiting for me when I got there like “hey whats that”.
Left: Hrmp!
Right: Why?!
The one on the left looks like 15% of all cats.
Can confirm, this could be my cat. Also notice they all have the “M” on the forehead.
Right’s tail is a question mark!
The right one definitely has the look of disbelief lol
Any experienced cat owner knows your cat is plotting to kill you. After all, that’s what cats do. If you eat the delicious fish in front of them, it just accelerates your demise
