• Letstakealook@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    84
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    3 months ago

    I’m autistic and I’ve learned to stop trying to play this game. Instead, I just make assholes like this explain their sideways ass comments in a straightforward fashion for the group. Forcing people to explain bigoted comments and not allowing the subject to change has now made everyone uncomfortable. Not so fucking funny anymore. I usually don’t have to do this more than once or twice within a specific group.

    • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.zip
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      25
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      3 months ago

      I also stopped playing ‘the game’ long ago and no longer put up with shitty people, but I can only do that because I’m on SSDI and don’t have to interact with people in an employment setting.

      Anon here is learning the hard way that basically, to advance in almost any modern, monetarily lucrative career, and most non lucrative ones, welp, you have to play this stupid social jockeying game because that is subconsciously how most others determine your worth as an employee, as a coworker.

      You can do the ‘explain why thats funny’ angle, but that just makes … you look like an asshole, a killjoy … to the people whose jobs are their lives, their selves.

      • Letstakealook@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        21
        ·
        3 months ago

        It has been working for me, and I’ve been getting promoted. I also tell the truth to executive leadership against advice. I just don’t have the bandwidth to fully mask and complete the job I’m paid to do. I mask the essentials, but I’m not playing games. We have work to do.

        • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.zip
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          15
          ·
          3 months ago

          Well damn, I am genuinely shocked that is working for you, but also very glad to hear that at least its working out well for you!

          I had a job like that once.

    • Caveman@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      3 months ago

      Also autistic here. Let’s say you reply with “So why is that funny” and that person or a third person says “Don’t be so sensetive”. What’s the best way to force the explanation?

      • Restaldt@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        20
        ·
        3 months ago

        “Im not trying to be overly sensitive i genuinely just dont get the joke. Explain it to me. Make it funny.”

        • intensely_human@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          3 months ago

          I just say it’s either funny or it isn’t.

          Humor is an authentication mechanism. It’s either funny or it isn’t, and that binary signal is the whole point of humor. It’s an indicator people are on the same page or they aren’t.

          I’m not kidding. Humor is a test. You don’t ask “why wasn’t that password the right one?”. The password was either a match or it wasn’t.

          Once you understand the social function of humor, the question “why is that funny?” becomes bunk.

      • psud@aussie.zone
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        edit-2
        3 months ago

        “I’m sorry, please carry on with your racist jokes”

        No need for sarcasm, deadpan works fine

    • crashfrog@sopuli.xyz
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      8
      arrow-down
      16
      ·
      3 months ago

      “Well, you know, Irish cuisine has a lot of potatoes in it.”

      Joke fucking explained. How do you figure the guy’s going to be on the spot, exactly?

      • Twiglet@feddit.uk
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        14
        ·
        3 months ago

        I guess you never heard of the potato famine then, which was a type of genocide visited upon the Irish by the British. Hence the 'sudden’jump from potatoes to bombing hospitals.

        That’s the source of potato jokes people crack about the Irish.

        • crashfrog@sopuli.xyz
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          arrow-down
          13
          ·
          3 months ago

          I’ve heard of it. It happened in the 1800’s on another continent. Can you explain what it has to do with eating potatoes?

          • intensely_human@lemm.ee
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            9
            ·
            3 months ago

            It is the link between irish people and potatoes.

            The joke wasn’t about potatoes it was about the link between irish people and potatoes.

            • crashfrog@sopuli.xyz
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              1
              arrow-down
              7
              ·
              3 months ago

              Irish cuisine has a lot of potato dishes. Because they were cultivating potatoes.

              • Kaity@leminal.space
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                4
                ·
                3 months ago

                Because the british bought all out their food sources, subjecting them to a famine where they had to grow potatoes to survive.

                • crashfrog@sopuli.xyz
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  1
                  arrow-down
                  2
                  ·
                  3 months ago

                  No, the famine happened after. You’ve got it backwards.

                  The famine was started because of a widespread potato blight. It’s not called the Potato Famine because that’s all they could eat; it’s called that because that’s what they couldn’t eat.

        • jaycifer@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          3 months ago

          “I guess I don’t know. Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it.” With a look on his face that clearly shows confusion at why you spent two whole responses about something as insignificant (in his mind) as potatoes. Everyone else probably has similar looks.

          For small talk like that you get one response on the topic. If someone said I should order potatoes because I’m Irish I’d lean so far into it, adapt an obvious accent, and say “Oh I do loove me potatoes.” If I wanted to backhand him a little I’d tack on “Except during the famine when there were no potatoes. Those were daark days” to the first statement. There’s enough humor in the accent to cover the callout mass starvation he probably unwittingly referenced.

          • Letstakealook@lemm.ee
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            7
            arrow-down
            2
            ·
            3 months ago

            Well played, though I doubt some Israeli making genocide jokes is going to be that familiar with Irish cuisine.

            • crashfrog@sopuli.xyz
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              2
              arrow-down
              14
              ·
              3 months ago

              Everybody knows about Irish food, just like everybody’s heard of hummus

              • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.zip
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                11
                ·
                3 months ago

                … Hummus is a popular staple of cuisine all over the eastern mediterranean and much of the middle east.

                The word ‘hummus’ itself is from Arabic.

                Hummus is not particularly unique to Israel.

                You’ve apparently heard of hummus but you don’t know much about it.

                • crashfrog@sopuli.xyz
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  2
                  arrow-down
                  6
                  ·
                  3 months ago

                  Hummus is not particularly unique to Israel.

                  Potatoes aren’t even native to Ireland.

              • Letstakealook@lemm.ee
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                3
                arrow-down
                1
                ·
                3 months ago

                Not necessarily, and if they have, they might not know the ingredients. Even hummus, many people don’t know what it is made from. If someone is making a joke about genocide and forced to quickly switch gears to a culinary discussion, I doubt they’d play it off so well. They might, but I doubt it.

                • crashfrog@sopuli.xyz
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  1
                  arrow-down
                  5
                  ·
                  3 months ago

                  People pretty generally know that the Irish cook with potatoes, as a result of the Potato Famine and the resulting Irish diaspora. People are extremely likely to have interacted with people whose name and descent are Irish.