aww man, that sucks.

anyway…

Weren’t we just discussing how CEO compensation was hitting record levels?

Maybe they should cut back on buying those $50 million latte factories, and build coffee machines at home.

CEOs just don’t want to work anymore.

In unrelated news, this corresponds directly to a record low in the both the breadth and the depth of the quantity of fucks I have to give about them and their bad year. Insiders are reporting the level to be at or near zero, and expect that level to maintain, for at least my natural lifespan. Film at 11.

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Good…

But can we make it worse?

Well over 1,000 CEOs have left their companies this year, according to a Challenger, Gray & Christmas report. That’s 33% more than last year and the highest total in the first seven months of the year since the staffing research company began tracking exits in 2002.

It seems like nobody wants to work anymore.

I hope “bad year” is followed by a rash of woodchipper accidents.

Good. Let’s keep this shit going.

Good.

Won’t someone think of the CEOs?

Oh no…