I was listening to some stuff from Gabor Mate who talks about ADHD being a coping mechanism. When there is stress in the environment growing up, you can’t really do anything about it, so the attention shifts as an escape. When that happens as a child, the brain develops in that environment. So it seems very possible that when you experience anxiety, your go-to coping mechanisms are those ADHD symptoms.

And then for me, I think the anxiety is also a coping mechanism. My dad would come down hard whenever I did something he didn’t understand or couldn’t explain. So as a way to avoid this, I started thinking of every possible thing that could go wrong when thinking about something, to the point of not doing anything. So any time I see something that needs to get done, I start going through all the things that can go wrong, then go do something else that’s “safe”.

The coping mechanisms don’t serve me anymore, but I can’t just switch them off like a light.

In my experience all procrastinating and avoidance can be traced to emotional reactions to whatever I’m thinking about the task.

Just like, how I conceptualize the task in my head.

The more significant the consequences, the more I naturally desire to avoid thinking about how much is at stake with the task. Like, maybe I’ve gotten wrapped up in thinking “wow, if I don’t get this task done, that proves I’m really a screw up.” So just thinking about what failure might mean puts my body into fight or flight, and one of the ways we naturally cope with that is avoidance. It feels like anxiety. It that case, I recognize now that I need to deliberately take time to think about what success on the task will mean for me.

That lessens my emotional reaction to negative thoughts about a task. One way to practice this that’s been helpful is whenever I think of a task I have to do, I try to follow it with a thought of why I have to do it, and what goal I will meet if I do it.

On the flip side, a lot of my avoidance and procrastination is really just prioritizing and being ambitious. Like, there really isn’t enough time in the day for me, and I accept that; so time I do spend relaxing or zoning does not need to make me feel any type of way about something productive I technically could be doing.

I’m further trying to condition my relax and zone out time as if it’s a consequence of doing something productive first. Like I get to actually enjoy that time if I’ve got something I easily direct my brain to if it starts in on me; talkin’ about, shut up brain, I can play Skyrim all afternoon, my inbox is empty, or I drafted that thing, or ran on the exercise bike. That shuts up my brain some.

They’re frequently comorbid. Generally ADD develops first during childhood and later on during young adulthood anxiety/depression starts to set in. If that sounds like you, bring it up during your next psych check-in – ADD evaluation is generally quick and accurate, so there’s not much to lose.

This comment, too.