I’ve really fantasized about being able to view my stats after I die. I come back to word counts pretty often. Or how many “near misses” I’ve had, if any I suppose.
Number of times people have masturbated to me.
(Spoiler: it’s zero)
Not anymore 🤤
Me next?
How much splooge I’ve nutted in whatever the funniest whole unit could be
I’m thinking teaspoons.
My suggestions for units of measurements, in no specific order:
- Thimbles
- Water balloons
- Per hoppus foot
- Cord and rick
- Burlap potato sacks
- Waffle irons
- Size 11 wooden clogs
- Drums
- Silos
- Minecarts
- Blimps/zeppelins
- Potential babies
You’ve nutted 397,405 times the total earth population last year. *
~measured as per sperm, not by volume or weight~
my massive massive penis length. But not how female I am. or how much of a liar I am.
I believe that someday scientists will develop a tool that will be able to accurately measure your gargantuan penis, once we have the technology.
I look forward to breaking such a tool with my tool.
How many times I’ve been right when my husband and I have differing recollections of something.
I wanna see my KDR.
“Hold up… How is it 684:10?”
Give me my brains S.M.A.R.T stats. I feel something has been rattling up there so feel it’s about time to be replaced.
Disk, RAM, CPU and GPU usage stats compared to other people. I suppose a lot of them are built like proper servers with their good memory while I can’t remember jack shit, like information from RAM never get stored.
How many times I’ve gotten out of a comfortable sitting position to let my dog in
Frequency of nice things said about me per year, especially as a ratio of good to bad.
I’d be fascinated to know what the peek’s correspond to
Details of what all books I’ve read. Impossible to remember details
total number of mouse clicks
Are you a FPS gamer?
Total amount of Energy consumed
I would love to know how many websites I’ve visited since I began using the internet.