I have autism and this fact has disturbed me greatly for some time, to the point its led me to some dark paths. I just want to know if I can actually live a normal life with it or am I doomed to be a weirdo forever?
I mean… Usually and in my experience the thing preventing this or making it harder is other people being terrible and/or unreasonable rather than my own shortcomings. It’s theoretically possible. Have had a lot of ups and downs.
Some of the most interesting people I know are weirdos.
I don’t really have much to say on the topic, even as someone with autism myself, but I hope things get better for you! Life has its ups and downs, and I hope brighter days will come for you!
Here, have a tune: https://youtu.be/UFtNhNuUN8Y
I hope it makes you feel a tad better or something. I know I like this song a lot, and this artist is one that I have listened to a lot when feeling more “down.” I hope it might make you feel better, or at least have some positive effect!
If you believe strongly that you are not autistic, you will not be affected
I have personaly known a lot of people who have seemed super happy at first, but were putting up a facade over some real big mental health problems. Just because someone is able to socialize doen’t mean they are living a good life, and you can do lots of fulfilling things without in person interaction.
Don’t worry about being normal, just do fun and fulfilling things.
https://youtube.com/@DLstandup?si=OWSOsBRaa0Plldoi
Dan Lamorte An excellent standup comedian who is autistic, some very clever bits about the spectrum. Making a living off standup comedy, marathon runner and in a happy relationship.
Nice, thanks
I’m living a pretty fulfilling life with a different disability (not going into it). The only trouble is how literally everyone outside my family, even my doctor, are subtly trying to convince me to kill myself. Just today my doctor kicked me out of her practice because I asked to get an early refill on a couple prescriptions (not this month, next month) to go on a trip in two months. Planning that far ahead means I’m a drug addict. Go figure. So now I’m scrambling to see if I can find a doctor in time to get the refills that run out this month, because she’s a petty bitch and won’t fill those. Yaaaaay.
I know 3 different people that are on the spectrum and while they do experience life differently and face different and or unique challenges, yes, absolutely you can live a normal fulfilling life.
Like with any mental health condition, it can make things that are everyday or normal for most folks more difficult so its important to not only seek guidance from a mental health professional but also have a good support structure. People you can count on to help you when you need it.
Everyone is a little different of course so finding the right fit for each can be kinda hard but all 3 people i know are happy, healthy, and are living a good life.
Everyone is weird anyways. I know plenty of neruotypical people that do weird stuff. Humans are weird by nature so what “normal” is to one person might be “weird” to another.
Neurotypicals are like strange animals. I like to think that the predatory behavior and lack of regard for others is a holdover from a more dangerous time. Like outdated firmware. Maybe CRISPR can cure them.
My fiance and I are both autistic. I’m a software developer and woodworker. She’s a college professor and resin artist. We are both incredibly happy and productive weirdos, and proud of it.
As a side note. I know a lot of “normal” people who are miserable and unproductive.
I bet you wouldn’t want your kids to have autism
That’s totally unrelated to the above posts, isn’t it?
I’m not autistic, but I chose to get a vasectomy to avoid passing on certain other traits. So, that’s an option. I ended up marrying someone with a child later. So now I have a kid who doesn’t have my genetic predisposition for certain qualities. Win/win?
Well at least you did the right thing
I wouldn’t have her any other way, and fuck you
You wouldn’t have her without a disability?
You say “weirdo” as if that’s a bad thing…
Well it is a bad thing
Really? As a weirdo, I’m not sure I agree with that.
I guess you’re entitled to your opinion, but there’s a reason deviants are removed from the gene pool
Oh, I bet that “reason” is to achieve some kind of mythical “purity”, as though such a thing was even desirable…
Well, at least you got one thing right: I’m very much entitled to my opinion. And, I opine that I don’t want to live the same, boring, homogenous, inbred, weak life as everyone else. If you think that’s what you need to be happy, happy trails and good fucking luck. 🫡
I don’t know, you’re kinda making the case for eugenics
By whose metric? I’m a weirdo and by and large it’s seen as more of a good thing, usually.
Ive always been told being different is bad
Fuck that. Own it. Unapologetically.
To some people, that’s true, and sadly, they’ll remind you of it.
But it’s not as bad as trying to live someone else’s life. You do you. THAT’S what makes life fulfilling. Sure, some people will think it’s weird, EVERYBODY has something that most people think is weird, who cares, as long as it’s a healthy hobby that doesn’t hurt anyone else, who cares if some people think it’s weird.
Incorrect. To be “normal” is to be boring. To be “normal” is to have near-zero chance of making a difference in the world.
The people who tell you being weird is bad are the people who are so dreadfully normal that they feel the need to put down deviance so they can convince themselves they are superior. And it sounds like it worked; they’ve suckered you into believing them.
Are you going to stay under that cloud of perceived inferiority? The choice is yours.
You may be right
You absolutely can, especially if you have low support needs.
You’ve said you’re at uni so please reach out to your student services and seek help. Especially as you’ve been saying you feel suicidal. They have safeguarding responsibilities and should help you find professional help and support groups.
A big part of feeling fulfilled in think is owning your weirdnesses. Seek out clubs and societies that relate to your special interests and you’ll likely find people you click with.
Only problem is last time I sought professional help I got stuffed into a psych ward
You might have to game the system a little. Generally, make damn sure they can’t insinuate that you wish for harm to yourself [or others]. Bad behavioral health servicepeople cannot differentiate between mild ideation vs crisis. Fire them if they suck and ask to see someone else until you find the right one. And yes, you can fire them.
Yeah I gotta stop being honest about my ideation…
Try to dial it a hair past “grotesquely miserable”, but not to “diabolically desperate.” Impossible goalposts amirite? Seriously though, hang in there. (I made a joke in the (regular triage) er once and had to leave because the nurse mistook my dark humor for something apparently serious)
Everyone is a weirdo. But I dont think you’re doomed to be defined by autism. I know a few people that you’d never know if they didn’t say something.
I would encourage you to find people who also have autism and get talking with them; I’m not going to pretend to be able to give anything more specific than that.
Having someone who’s been in your shoes; and can actually give real advice is invaluable.
I would love to get to know more autistic people but I dont think theres a lot at my uni or in social circles in my city. Ill have to look
10%-20% of the population is neurodivergent. Probably more with how chronically under diagnosed both ASD and ADHD have been in women. Some of the people you know may well be in the spectrum and either don’t know it themselves or are masking.
I’d reach out to your student services, see if there’s any groups.
I’d also look for uni societies that relate to your special interests.
Yeah I will try both
There will no doubt be more than you think - if there isn’t a neuro divergent society at your uni, you could start one?
At the very least there’s loads of neurodivergent communities on lemmy to get involved with.
[email protected] for starts
Also worth checking out communities for ADHD and neurodivergence generally - there’s a lot of overlap to find stuff within.
What do you consider normal? One thing that may aid autistic understanding, is many people who are enormously depressed manage to maintain a really happy facade over it. That smiley, goofy lady from work might actually be struggling with deep clinical depression. You may actually be one of the most fulfilled of your peers without knowing it.
You can be a totally happy weirdo in the future for sure. I’m autistic as well, diagnosed as an adult. It might take you longer to find something you don’t mind doing for work, or to form lasting friendships, but it’s totally possible.
Even “NT” people are weird. Just because you work different doesn’t make you sub-human, doesn’t mean you can’t have a “normal” life, or that you don’t deserve to be happy and to be loved and to have a fulfilling “normal” life.
Keep your chin up, and keep at it.Thank you. But Ive been bullied throughout my life and even my father called me a freak and such, to the point I moved out the minute I became 18. So part of me wishes I was nt so I could just be accepted.
Don’t let a few really shit people make you doubt that you’re worth being here.
What actions are leading to these reactions?
Awkward, I had a lot of behavorial issues growing up that alienated me, Ive been in psych wards, stuff like that
Mind going further in describing the actual things or is that too personal?
I’d curse at people randomly, pick fights with teachers and students, run out of class, smoke pot in the school bathrooms, randomly having sex with students and a teacher once. Ive been in psych wards for suicide threats
What ties these things to autism?
I assume its why Im so messed up
Personally, I’m not really sure if a true “neurotypical” exists. Just people with traits that don’t yet have scientific/quantitative definitions or labels for. We’re all just people and our only common trait is that we’re all different and weird.
Neurotypical just means you’re in the bulge of the bell curve of traits, so your traits are common. It doesn’t mean you’re normal, just average.
Or…. “Typical”…. 😉
