Ok, I have no idea why this bothers me and I don’t even know what to call it. My husband is a “come here” guy. Something he thinks is interesting and wants to show me - hey, come here! Nuclear apocalypse - hey, come here! Why the hell wont he just tell me why he wants me to get up, trudge to wherever he is, so that he can reveal the surprise like some sort of performative art ? I never know if it’s going to be legitimate, a disaster, or something stupid. The walk to wherever he is is insanely stressful because the whole time I’m running through all possible horrible scenarios (we’ve had a lot of issues at the house lately so I never know if I’m going to find water in the basement or raccoons in the attic or a hole in my foundation, or just him looking at a funny cat video). I’d rather he say “hey, babe, something is happening wherever/whatever, come see this.” Instead I have to have the whole performance and reveal and I fucking hate it. Anyone else know what I’m talking about or am I just mental ?
And she should ignore the obnoxious way he chooses to do it? What other things you propose sje should ignore?
How is it obnoxious to say “hey. Come here”?
because we have an unreliable narrator. that is no smudge on the OP, just a frustration with some of this
I’ve actually been completely transparent and honest. He and I have talked about it many times. I guess I’m here to hear other perspectives so that maybe I can verbalize the situation better in a way he can understand. He doesn’t know why he does it and I have a hard time been putting into words why it’s so bothersome to me. And if you don’t have a cohesive point, do you really have a point? And with no point there is theoretically no problem.
Because she’s not a dog, and he doesn’t get to issue commands to her.
Even if it was “Hey, can I show you something?” that would be a bit better - it’s asking for her attention and presence rather than demanding it.
She still has the right to say “no”.
People have a tendency to “want to be nice”. If it’s not too demanding, we usually follow requests. You may be different (I say this without judgement), but most people don’t like to not follow request. Hence the “come here” feels like an order, even though, on the surface it isn’t.
On the surface it is an order. He’s using imperative sentence construction with no “please can you” and no question mark.
This is exactly how commands/orders are expressed in English.
“Do this” “Come here” " Go there" “Sit Down” “Give me 20 press ups”.