Ok, I have no idea why this bothers me and I don’t even know what to call it. My husband is a “come here” guy. Something he thinks is interesting and wants to show me - hey, come here! Nuclear apocalypse - hey, come here! Why the hell wont he just tell me why he wants me to get up, trudge to wherever he is, so that he can reveal the surprise like some sort of performative art ? I never know if it’s going to be legitimate, a disaster, or something stupid. The walk to wherever he is is insanely stressful because the whole time I’m running through all possible horrible scenarios (we’ve had a lot of issues at the house lately so I never know if I’m going to find water in the basement or raccoons in the attic or a hole in my foundation, or just him looking at a funny cat video). I’d rather he say “hey, babe, something is happening wherever/whatever, come see this.” Instead I have to have the whole performance and reveal and I fucking hate it. Anyone else know what I’m talking about or am I just mental ?

  • BilboBargains@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I’ve heard other people complain about this behaviour. The problem is that your husband is extorting a reaction from you. You are obliged to generate the reaction, out of politeness and respect for his feelings. There is a cost attached to this performance that you are bearing but not really much of a reward. I know because I’m doing it to my wife and she hates it. My daughter is doing it to me and I hate it. I should stop but torturing her like this is fulfilling some dark corner of my mind.