I thought this whole thing was bait until a streamer recently told a personal anecdote: he recently went to a wedding, and at some point, he realized that all the women kept the drinks in their hands, for the whole time, until they were done with them. After asking about it, he was told that it was standard safety to avoid getting roofied. At that point I realized I had seriously underestimated the chances of running across a psycho capable of gifting you some precious trauma for most people.
At that point I realized I had seriously underestimated the chances of running across a psycho capable of gifting you some precious trauma for most people.
I start3d driving a taxi when I was 18 and that illusion shattered rather fast.
I’m a 183cm (6ft) white cis man and I got sexually harassed several times. More by men than women. I wouldn’t consider any of them sexual assault, but it really did make me worry a bit for my women colleagues. Well not all of them, a lot of them were very much capable of handling drunkards better than me (at the time.)
By far the most popular tip for travelers is to never take an opened drink and never lose your drink. Everyone should live by this rule though weddings is probably 1 exception where you can just chill.
Nightclubs are a space that preditors are active in and that skews the perception. It’s absolutely best practice to hold your drink, that doesn’t mean the chances of a random man in the forest who is going to be a threat is high. How many people just don’t enjoy nightclubs?
Thing is, statistically speaking, you, as a male, have way more chances of dying, getting assaulted, getting robbed, and in general pretty much every kind of crime that is not sexual assault. So you have way more chances of running across a traumatic psycho, yet you do not see every male holding the drink like that.
Sure, but statistically speaking, as a male, I also engage in more “risky” behavior, such as taking walks during pitch black night at 3AM. Analyzing that statistic without taking into consideration how much caution is exercised by each gender is meaningless.
And regardless, I think the discussion of “Which gender has it worse” is less important than “how do we make society safer for everyone”. I want to take safe walks at 3AM ffs.
Sure, if course, the goal is the make it safer for everyone. One if the ways to make it a safer and better place is to stop inducing females with the unbased fear that just by existing and being nearby a man they are going to be raped, killed or worse. Because it does not happen, and then it devolves into fucking sexism. And it’s not okay. Most men here will have never have raped, sexually assaulted nor been anything remotely violent towards women. Yet media/sociaty acts as if they all are! WTF how is that cool? Isn’t that the same as racism, ageism and other isms? Judging/presenting someone by the negative traits of few of their population?
Plus legally in most countries a woman can get you drunk and or drugged and have sex with you against your will or consent and it’s legally okay, but the opposite is not true. You can be a male musician, like say, Justin Bieber or the guy playing guitar on the metro and be CONSTANTLY interrupted and harassed by women and noone bats an eye. Hell, I said male a couple times, if I said female referring to a woman everyone would lose their shit!
First step to make thinks safer/better for everyone is stop fear mongering and demonizing one group, that’s what I’m saying.
I’m neither feigning ignorance, asking for evidence nor anything associated with sea lioning. So maybe go read a book. I’m saying I’m absolutely tired of an entire group of people playing victims while another entire group of people gets demonized. Easier to understand? I’m saying it’s not normal for a woman to feel afraid just because a man is nearby.
But the baseless sea lioning argument you read somewhere else on lemmy and don’t understand is essier, I get it.
I think the discussion of “Which gender has it worse” is less important than “how do we make society safer for everyone”
You immediately went back into “Which gender has it worse”. There are no sides here, people just make it that way.
I understand how you feel. There’s an often promoted stereotype that men are large, strong, aggressive, and sexually predatory that informs public perception and behaviour. But it’s an opinion that you need to try get across using a lot of tact, and a demonstrable understanding of other points of view. Especially in discussions like these, as it’s possible for both parties to be in the right, just identifying different problems.
This post comes off as a rant that only appeals to people who already agree with you. You and others aren’t going to learn anything. Try removing some of the energy, especially the anger. Calm it down, don’t use extreme examples. Read what others are saying, digest it, and properly incorporate it into your response and world view.
The vast majority of people aren’t outright lying, they just have a different view of reality that you can learn from
I get that, and it may come across as aggressive, true. That was not the intent. I’m not saying they are lying, I’m trying to say they should stop focusing only on “this group is the victim”, “this group is the predator”, which is the vibe that most people here give. And the other examples (which are pretty common everyday, not extreme, I think, though I did point one extreme case that people know.
Also, it’s pretty tyring trying to write anything here on lemmy since every time you say something someone disagrees with you are “sea lioning”, “you are a troll” or “you are the bear”. (not you, check the other comments). Nobody goes tell them “You should remain calm and have civil conversation”, though.
Also, it’s pretty tyring trying to write anything here on lemmy since every time you say something someone disagrees with you are “sea lioning”, “you are a troll” or “you are the bear”. (not you, check the other comments). Nobody goes tell them “You should remain calm and have civil conversation”, though.
Totally, they’re really not helping. I’ve replied to a few suggesting they calm down, but most seems dismissive or otherwise not worth the time. I wouldn’t have said anything if I didn’t think you were being sincere. I genuinely think you could be a force for positive discussion.
This whole post and it comments are quite depressing for me, as I just see people with valid points getting so passionate that they’re both talking past each other (yourself included). It raises defences and no one learns anything
Yes it is! Being robbed or mugged is definitely less traumatic than being raped! Murder is arguable, but it’s hard to be traumatized when you’re dead. You need to understand that it is okay for marginalized groups (women) to “punch up” at more societally powerful groups (men). You don’t judge the nerds at school for talking shit about their bullies.
I once got punched in the neck, unprompted, by a total stranger. While it was the biggest annoyance of the week, I later felt grateful that my height and gender allowed for the given response: Yelling at him to make him run away, rather than running in fear for my life.
I’m not claiming we’re invulnerable, but we at least have some resistance against basic offenses, the kind too small to ever call the police against - and those are easily the most common ones.
I thought this whole thing was bait until a streamer recently told a personal anecdote: he recently went to a wedding, and at some point, he realized that all the women kept the drinks in their hands, for the whole time, until they were done with them. After asking about it, he was told that it was standard safety to avoid getting roofied. At that point I realized I had seriously underestimated the chances of running across a psycho capable of gifting you some precious trauma for most people.
I start3d driving a taxi when I was 18 and that illusion shattered rather fast.
I’m a 183cm (6ft) white cis man and I got sexually harassed several times. More by men than women. I wouldn’t consider any of them sexual assault, but it really did make me worry a bit for my women colleagues. Well not all of them, a lot of them were very much capable of handling drunkards better than me (at the time.)
By far the most popular tip for travelers is to never take an opened drink and never lose your drink. Everyone should live by this rule though weddings is probably 1 exception where you can just chill.
Yup, if you lose your drink then it’s not your drink anymore.
Nightclubs are a space that preditors are active in and that skews the perception. It’s absolutely best practice to hold your drink, that doesn’t mean the chances of a random man in the forest who is going to be a threat is high. How many people just don’t enjoy nightclubs?
1 in 6 women have been victims of rape or attempted rape.
180 people have died to bear attacks in the US since 1784.
You wanna test your odds?
Thing is, statistically speaking, you, as a male, have way more chances of dying, getting assaulted, getting robbed, and in general pretty much every kind of crime that is not sexual assault. So you have way more chances of running across a traumatic psycho, yet you do not see every male holding the drink like that.
Sure, but statistically speaking, as a male, I also engage in more “risky” behavior, such as taking walks during pitch black night at 3AM. Analyzing that statistic without taking into consideration how much caution is exercised by each gender is meaningless.
And regardless, I think the discussion of “Which gender has it worse” is less important than “how do we make society safer for everyone”. I want to take safe walks at 3AM ffs.
Sure, if course, the goal is the make it safer for everyone. One if the ways to make it a safer and better place is to stop inducing females with the unbased fear that just by existing and being nearby a man they are going to be raped, killed or worse. Because it does not happen, and then it devolves into fucking sexism. And it’s not okay. Most men here will have never have raped, sexually assaulted nor been anything remotely violent towards women. Yet media/sociaty acts as if they all are! WTF how is that cool? Isn’t that the same as racism, ageism and other isms? Judging/presenting someone by the negative traits of few of their population?
Plus legally in most countries a woman can get you drunk and or drugged and have sex with you against your will or consent and it’s legally okay, but the opposite is not true. You can be a male musician, like say, Justin Bieber or the guy playing guitar on the metro and be CONSTANTLY interrupted and harassed by women and noone bats an eye. Hell, I said male a couple times, if I said female referring to a woman everyone would lose their shit!
First step to make thinks safer/better for everyone is stop fear mongering and demonizing one group, that’s what I’m saying.
So you’re the 🐻. Got it.
So, the one women supposedly pick? Got it.
I was thinking sea lion, but yeah.
Sea lions are unbearable.
I’m neither feigning ignorance, asking for evidence nor anything associated with sea lioning. So maybe go read a book. I’m saying I’m absolutely tired of an entire group of people playing victims while another entire group of people gets demonized. Easier to understand? I’m saying it’s not normal for a woman to feel afraid just because a man is nearby.
But the baseless sea lioning argument you read somewhere else on lemmy and don’t understand is essier, I get it.
You immediately went back into “Which gender has it worse”. There are no sides here, people just make it that way.
I understand how you feel. There’s an often promoted stereotype that men are large, strong, aggressive, and sexually predatory that informs public perception and behaviour. But it’s an opinion that you need to try get across using a lot of tact, and a demonstrable understanding of other points of view. Especially in discussions like these, as it’s possible for both parties to be in the right, just identifying different problems.
This post comes off as a rant that only appeals to people who already agree with you. You and others aren’t going to learn anything. Try removing some of the energy, especially the anger. Calm it down, don’t use extreme examples. Read what others are saying, digest it, and properly incorporate it into your response and world view.
The vast majority of people aren’t outright lying, they just have a different view of reality that you can learn from
I get that, and it may come across as aggressive, true. That was not the intent. I’m not saying they are lying, I’m trying to say they should stop focusing only on “this group is the victim”, “this group is the predator”, which is the vibe that most people here give. And the other examples (which are pretty common everyday, not extreme, I think, though I did point one extreme case that people know.
Also, it’s pretty tyring trying to write anything here on lemmy since every time you say something someone disagrees with you are “sea lioning”, “you are a troll” or “you are the bear”. (not you, check the other comments). Nobody goes tell them “You should remain calm and have civil conversation”, though.
Totally, they’re really not helping. I’ve replied to a few suggesting they calm down, but most seems dismissive or otherwise not worth the time. I wouldn’t have said anything if I didn’t think you were being sincere. I genuinely think you could be a force for positive discussion.
This whole post and it comments are quite depressing for me, as I just see people with valid points getting so passionate that they’re both talking past each other (yourself included). It raises defences and no one learns anything
Because all of the things you listed have nothing to do with being drugged and raped.
Like, holy fuck dude, pull your head out of your ass.
Yeah, it has to do with feeling fear of being the victim of a crime. Pull yours out your ass. It isn’t any less traumatic.
How many men walk around with concealed carries because they’re afraid they might need to defend themselves?
You very clearly just do not understand what you’re talking about.
Yes it is! Being robbed or mugged is definitely less traumatic than being raped! Murder is arguable, but it’s hard to be traumatized when you’re dead. You need to understand that it is okay for marginalized groups (women) to “punch up” at more societally powerful groups (men). You don’t judge the nerds at school for talking shit about their bullies.
I once got punched in the neck, unprompted, by a total stranger. While it was the biggest annoyance of the week, I later felt grateful that my height and gender allowed for the given response: Yelling at him to make him run away, rather than running in fear for my life.
I’m not claiming we’re invulnerable, but we at least have some resistance against basic offenses, the kind too small to ever call the police against - and those are easily the most common ones.