There are a lot of news articles about “back to the office”, but they recirculate the same bad ideas. Let’s provide some new ideas for the media to circulate. It may also have the effect of making the office less terrible.
I would like my work computer to do Windows updates lightning quick in the office. It currently takes weeks, in or out of the office. Stopping in for a day makes no difference, so there is no point. Now, if there was a point, I would go in.
What would get you in the office?
You must log in or register to comment.
Time. Can’t spend 3 hours a day commuting to work.
Nothing. I refuse to go back.
I’ve been remote for over seven years now. I can’t think of anything that would get me back into the office - why would I, when working remotely works so much better for me?
If I were these employers, I’d want to step back and figure out why it’s so important to have people back in the office. Assuming they can find good reasons, work from those. For example, if it’s about some employees actually preferring to work from the office, what kind of hybrid solution can you set up to make them more successful? How can you connect those who are remote and those who are on location? And so on.
I keep hearing “collaboration”. I don’t believe it as we were a worldwide company, so someone was already remote.
My only guess is that management is lonely.
Absolutely nothing
A much better setup than my home one. A private office with sound dampening. Dual 4K+ monitors. A large wall mounted TV for casting training videos or collaborating. A coffee and desert cart.
Everyday, a blowjob, a nice glass of whisky, and a good cigar. A nice desk, made with oak or something.
Also shit tons of money.
And the ability to show up at 10 and leave at 3.
Still interested?
Cocobolo desk
Employers generally pay employees to do things that they can’t or don’t want to do. We work (doing things we don’t necessarily want to do) simply because it makes us money.
So yeah, want people to return to the office? That better come with a big offer attached or no dice.
Teleportation technology
My commute was, at best, 30 minutes each way driving myself. Public transportation would easily double that time and could easily be even worse.
Compensate me for that time at my full rate of pay or higher plus IRS mileage and I will START thinking about it.
My work environment also matters. Open floor plans suck ass and kill productivity. Pony up the money and give everyone offices with doors that close. My productivity at home is much higher because I am not sitting on a busy aisle across from a noisy meeting room.
I do miss being around people, I feel more isolated doing wfh. But the tradeoffs are pretty dismal against going back to the office.
An office I can walk to. I might even prefer that to a home office, because I find it hard to get away from work when it is always looking at me at home, even in my spare time.
An office where I have a say in how it is furnished and how it looks, together with my colleagues of course. Natural light, being able to sit or stand at my desk. “Please do not disturb” signs that people respect when I want to concentrate on my work. A place that is built to reduce noise, and that allows me to have it as cold or warm, light or dark, as I need it to be that day.
A place where I can eat and drink when I need to, and a place where I can lie down for a moment when it helps me recover from a difficult task.
Basically, make my workplace a place to live, because work is life, not a separate thing, and you go home to start living.
Quadruple my pay and keep everything else (responsibilities, flex hours, unlimited PTO, etc.) the same.
A healthy office culture and team members to collaborate with. I go to the office because interacting with my coworkers in person is enjoyable and I learn new things faster through those interactions. It helps that we also have free coffee and snacks and the commute is less than 10 minutes but I primarily go in because of the people I work with.
Nothing. I would need to be compensated for my commute and honestly I would need a driver so I could work on the commute. And the salary I would need to justify working in an office I’m just not worth.
So any company willing to meet me here clearly has bad management so I don’t want to work for them anyway.
Walking distance from the office. And doesn’t mean I’ll relocate to a 1 bedroom apartment just to be next to the office.
Back to the office? In my country almost nobody left the office, even when the pandemic was at its peak lol.
What country?
Mexico.
