M. 34. Unfortunately I will never get companionship, never being with a woman, so that means no kids, until recently i was doing a miserable job, now I’m unemployed. I don’t have friends and still living with my family since I can’t survive alone, we’re low class…
Seriously, what’s the point? Please don’t tell me to just live and go out there and explore the world, to leave everything behind, that’s not possible. I always despised “exploring” that’s why I stay in my room most of the time, even when I had a job. But I know how some of you will respond…
I guess there’s no point. Someone had to lose this fucking game.
You are here every week posting this exact same shit. People have tried to help you and give you real advice. You don’t want help, you want attention. The Internet isn’t your therapist and you don’t want to listen anyways. Stop wasting everyone’s time.
This is likely the third time I’ve seen this dude posting “woe is me” here, getting amazing great advice to see a therapist, and completely fucking ignores it.
OP go see a fucking therapist. No one cares anymore because you won’t listen.
Oh man, I didn’t know that there was a whole history of repeating the same posts. I hope some passerby who relates to the post can gain from the outpouring of advice etc here
But they don’t want a therapist. And they don’t want advice. So I guess they just want the attention. Or pity. Hard to tell which.
I think it’s pity
I still like to think I’m there for him if he needs someone. It doesn’t feel like myself to be dismissive like that.
Are they deleting their old posts?
They also seem to be full of shit, considering in one breath they say they’ve never been with a woman but also just recently commented they isolated and drank after a breakup in another thread.
Very weird.
No. The last one about giving up losing weight is still up and the ai girlfriend one as well.
Nope, they are all still there. “When did you stop caring about how you look”, “summer is the worst season”, “what does it feel like to be with a woman”. Dude is depressed, depressing, creepy, and doesn’t want help - he just wants attention.
You can be happy without a woman and without kids. As it turns out, it usually works best to be happy by yourself first, if companionship is what you want. Learn to love yourself before loving others. Keep trying.
That’s the best I could do, hope it helps. Good luck to you.
You can be happy without a woman and without kids.
I mean, just ask any gay guy.
I will never love myself.
The level of bullshit coming out of your mouth will not be fixed by platitudes like “love yourself”. You need medication.
I don’t like overdramatic depressed people so I’m not going to discuss this with you, I’m just giving this advice and dipping.
Ignore what everyone else says. It’s useless advice. Talk to a doc and get the right drugs. You may never love yourself, but we have wonderful pills that will change who you are. That person will love himself. Whatever sad creature you are now won’t exist anymore.
You don’t know they’re diagnosis. So you have no idea if they need medication or not.
Help yes. But, not all mental health disorders have a root cause that can be treated with medication. For instance, depression is comorbid in PTSD and CPTSD, which we don’t really have medication that helps great with aside from adrenaline blockers to help you sleep if you get nightmares .
My point is, telling people they need medication when you’re not a psychiatrist, and even if you are psychiatrist, you’ve never talked to them or diagnosed them, is not helpful.
Responding in such a harsh and dismissive way to someone who may be struggling with their mental health is really not okay. Calling their feelings “bullshit” and “overdramatic” is incredibly invalidating.
I know you meant well but the overall tone here is way too critical and potentially damaging to someone in a vulnerable state.
They didn’t mean well. You’re giving them way too much credit
Platitudes won’t help…but surely being an asshole to them will, right? Just shut the fuck up if you that’s the only “advice” you can muster.
Never is a long time m8. With those kinds of thoughts, I think you need professional help. My wife has dealt with similar things and getting therapy and medication really helped.
At the end of the day, your brain is just chemistry and sometimes the chemistry is just doing bad stuff. Go to therapy and get some medication. It will help, really.
Don’t post this again until you’ve done something to listen to the people around you.
Thanks for the heads up so I know to block them!
How about responding the answer instead of working around it
The answer is that you simply need to stop being “someone like you”, and therapy WILL make that happen if you let it.
It sounds like you’re going though a tough time. I haven’t been in your exact situation, but I’ve had a few severe depressive episodes before. While I can’t help improve your material conditions, I can at least offer some general advice for managing symptoms of depression.
In the short term, keep active. I know it sounds pointless or completely unrelated. I felt the same way, but over time it really does affect your overall mood. Go for walks, do some push ups, or find some other light exercise that works for your fitness level.
Make sure you get the right amount of sleep. With depression, some people stay in bed napping all day, and others hardly sleep at all. I tend to stay up way too late. Try to keep a regular sleep schedule. It really does have a huge impact on cognitive function.
In the longer term, find a local group where you can regularly interact with people over a shared common interest. A book club, a bowling league, community theater, whatever you’re into.
Losing your job could be a blessing in disguise. It doesn’t sound like you were particularly fond of the old job. Now you have a chance to find something better. Be grateful that you a family you can live with in the mean time. Some people aren’t so fortunate.
I don’t know you, but I hope things get better for you.
What’s the point of living for anyone? There’s no point. Life is what you make out of it. If one keeps doing the same things day after day then that’s an indication they don’t want things to change. How could they change? Accepting things as they are and just sitting at home being miserable is a guranteed way to stay miserable.
There’s no overarching point to living. We exist, and then after a time we die. But we feel things while alive, so there is a point in deciding what you want to do while you’re stuck here. You listed some things you’ve given up on, but what is it that you want to do with your time?
Try some ecstasy or mushrooms.
Really.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10444769/
https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/how-psychedelic-drugs-may-help-depression
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/02698811211066714
I can’t really argue any of your points, because if you think you won’t ever get a gf, you won’t. So you need to change the thought before that reality can change. And changing the thought is done by using mdma/psilocybin to force your brain to unlock positive memories, which will lead to a reduction in depression.
Really though. They’re not dangerous in any significant way and if they could help, what have you to lose?
If you try mushrooms (mdma too, but it’s not as risky afaik) please please please make sure to have trusted friend/trip sitter with you. It’s extremely rare, but truly bad trips that leave real psychological damage can happen, and having a friend or someone you trust to help you through it can be the difference between life and death, or serious harm vs not. It’s an extremely powerful compound that can bring tremendous healing, and the majority of the time it does, and even when it’s difficult there’s almost always a lesson or something to be learned if you embrace and explore the difficulty with love, but it does deserve respect and to say “they’re not dangerous in any significant way” is not entirely true. For most people most of the time it is true, but that .01% of the time it’s not it can be very bad, and like I said having a trusted, sober friend help you through can make all the difference.
DXM is also good for a refresh if you have access to a safe and comfortable set and setting. Might be more accessible since its usually OTC
That’s not a reality here plus I’m poor.
Illegal drugs are a reality everywhere though, but I understand that proper PAT is different from self-medication.
I’m sorry you feel stuck right now. I know you don’t want to hear this, but if you want to achieve your dream of a family you are going to need another job and therapy. Even if the women of your dreams showed up ready to get pregnant right now, you’re not ready. Do you really want to raise kids who know daddy hates himself? Do you really want your family to deal with your emotional spillover? Teaching kids emotional regulation is HARD and damn near impossible if you are struggling yourself.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a family. That is a fine goal and a perfect thing to look forward to. Many poeple are starting families later just bc of the cost of living, so I don’t think you will be too old even if it takes you another five years to get there.
There is someone out there for everyone. Maybe she can make all the money and you can be a stay at home dad! But you gotta get up, flip off the fucking world, and get a job and start putting together a social life of poeple who care about you. Stay safe and remember you are valuable and worthy of self love.
I’m sorry but that’s not possible.
why not?
There is no universial point of life.
Plenty tried to answer that and failed because that’s not how it works. Every life is as worthy as they make it and so far, you have been struggling to appreciate you.
Seek help. I’m sure you have all the power in you to make a change by yourself but it just maybe a little to hard of a struggle for yourself to deal with.
Nobody likes me
Everybody hates me
Guess I’ll go eat worms
Big, fat, juicy ones
Long, thin, slimey ones
Itsy bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms
Down goes the first one
Down goes the second one
Oh, how they wiggle and squirm!
Big, fat, juicy ones
Long, thin, slimey ones
Itsy bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms
Up comes the first one
Up comes the second one
Oh, how they wiggle and squirm!
Big, fat, juicy ones
Long, thin, slimey ones
Itsy bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms
Nobody likes me
Everybody hates me
Guess I’ll go eat worms!Name checks out.
I mean isn’t there something you’re interested in aside from the stereotypical women, family and a nice job? Maybe you can find something that is fulfilling to you specifically? Idk, working out and getting in shape, learning something maybe coding, history or some (niche) fandom. You could build something, take pride in gardening or do artsy stuff and maybe sell it on Tindie. Write stories…
That’d help if you’re not like all the other people and you’re just following the beaten path, but it’s just not for you. In that case you’d need to explore what is right for you. That’s certainly not easy.
Other possibilities include: You’ve in fact lost that game. Or you have some sort of mental illness like depression or a mid-life crisis and need treatment for it to get better.
No there’s isn’t anything that I want besides that.
Btw, and I don’t quite get if you’re comfortable where you are, or whether you aren’t. You post here regularly. You don’t have a drivers license, you gave up staying in shape, you gave up practicing an instrument… You gave up on women… You want advice but you don’t want advice… I’m not sure what to make of this. Like if you want to become someone else, go ahead. Pick up the things you mentioned and actually do it.
And another word of unsolicited advice: People who are just ‘downers’ aren’t attractive. If you want someone to be interested in you, you gotta at least have something that’s interesting about you. Or be funny or at least be nice and not overly negative around people you’d like to meet again. And people who don’t care about anything also aren’t attractive.
Not everything is about looks. Not even close. But you gotta choose what character traits to display around people. And what you can bring to the table.
If it’s nothing, and you’re not even genuinely interested in a relationship… you just want one… I know why you fail.
Finish your driver’s license, decide who you want to be and find something that you can tell women you like. And be genuine. People can tell if you lie. It needs to be something you’re really interested in. And then do it. F*ing force yourself to become the person you’d like to be. Make small steps and don’t give up.
If you read my post I didn’t asked for help. I just asked a question. And I’m well aware of that, but that’s literally me. I’m a downer, the world made me one, so I guess I’m cursed, I’m fucked since nobody wants me. You just told me that
Sure. I think you maybe dug yourself a comfortable hole. And now you to refuse to come out.
The question is: Now what? Do you want to be a downer? Do you not want to be a downer?
I don’t want anything, just stop feeling.
[Disclaimer: I’m not a professional and this is just my (uneducated) opinion.]
That’s a bit unfortunate but understandable. We all have things we want, it’s subjective and you’re as entitled to be happy and get what you want, as anybody else… Unfortunately the universe doesn’t exactly ‘owe’ that to us.
In that case I’m not sure what I’d like to advise you. It’s kind if a bummer and maybe I can sympathise. And both of your problems are big ones and not something that gets solved over night. Generally there are two options: Give up or don’t give up. The first thing isn’t really an option and the second requires you to put in some effort and try to change things around. Sometimes it’s really hard to get what you want and you fail over and over in the process. That’s not unique to your situation. But I think I can empathize how it feels if you already tried that and always failed.
On the flipside, I don’t know your exact situation. But it seems you’re quite down. You write you’re 34. I think that’s a common time to get a mid-life crisis. To reconsider your life 'cause now you’re not young anymore and you have to consider how to finally achieve things that life didn’t grant you until then. That’s not your fault.
I think it’s hard to get out of that. But I’d like to encourage you to think over with a broader perspective. It’s now that you’re not seeing any way out. That’s not necessarily true but it’s how you feel now. You somehow need to dig yourself out of that. You owe that to your future you, in case there is the slightest possibility that there is a way, you just don’t see it now. You fail until you don’t. And there is no way to know in advace how many more times you have to fail.
Get professional help. Call one of the helplines and just talk to them. They’re more skilled than internet strangers and they have some contacts they can connect you with. Maybe you need a doctor, I don’t really know.
As of now I think you need some coping strategy to get into a position where you’re able to do something (again) and not just feel down and dwell in that. I know that’s easier said then done…
I won’t call anyone. There’s no anyone anyways. Not for free.
That’s not true: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
It’s like dozens of pages of free numbers. Pick one that suits your needs. And they’re not all just for absolute emergencies… Or call a friend, a relative…
I won’t kill myself. I don’t have access to guns and any other method is too painful.
You can explore stuff without leaving your room.
Ex, The Internet
The point of living is to enjoy yourself, you can go about that any way you like really. You don’t need to do the cookie-cutter meet-someone-and-start-a-family life to be happy.
Find something that makes you feel happy (or at least less shit) and do more of it. If you find enough things, you might find you can turn one into a job that you don’t hate.
You’ve not lost the game if you’re still playing.
Is there nobody who would miss you?
The things you listed is what society wants you to do, not what you want to do. Do some hard thinking what YOU want to do with your life and what is important to you; nothing else will give you peace and fulfillment. You can set some long term goals if you want, but from experience i tell you to start with something small and keep that up, that’s hard enough as it is.
If what you achieve and what you want is not the same, you will not be happy at all.
I don’t anything for myself though.
You must want something if you are unhappy with your life and Want to chance it? What would you change in your life if given the option?
Being born rich.
If you were born rich what would you want to do?
