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I just need like 500 business cards with this on it.
And if you have asthma, don’t worry, just take a deep breath :)
Not depression, but …
I have a friend with a bit of “resting bitch face”. Someone screamed at her from across the street to “smile and be happy, it’s a great day!”
She was like, I was happy …
that’s just sexism. no one tells men to be happy when they walk around looking like someone shat in their cereal
I am a man. I also have resting b1tch face. I get told to “smile” or “cheer up” on a weekly basis
Then they’re hitting on you. They want to see that pretty smile of yours.
Or at least checking to see if enough of their teeth are there.
by whom, strangers?
Yes
Uh not correct. Tall angry looking dudes get told all the time to ‘smile’.
Of course, it’s also aimed at women for sexist reason, I got told to smile so many times as an angry looking dude. Then I’m walking around with my daughter and this full on 30 something grown ass adult man tells her to smile. I could have rage fisted him into the fucking sun at midnight, The pure burning hate that flooded my viens at that moment decreased my life span by 3 years. I could have poured it down his entire being. Instead I told him she’ll do whatever she wants with her face, and he can fuck off.
by strangers?
Elderly old man with a resting bitch face here. People don’t say ‘cheer up’ to me, but have frequently asked my wife why I’m so angry.
I wouldn’t bet on that, you’d be wrong.
sure
I’d rather have a right hook to the face, thanks
My brother, who never had a struggle in his life, came up with the solution to all mental health problems. “You should get a different mindset”. He should get a Nobel price. We can scrap psychology. We just need to get a different mindset. Autism? Mindset. PTSD? Mindset. Depression? Mindset. Personality disorder? Mindset! Boom! I’m cured! I’ve had years of useless therapy, had over 20 therapists, but my brother is a genius and knows how to fix it in an instant. *longest and deepest sigh possible.
A big issue we have in society is that we’re not allowed to feel bad. Whenever someone feels bad in any way, people are panicking and trying to fix it, make someone happy. Accepting someone feels bad and allowing the sadness to be there already helps a lot. Sadness needs to be there too and needs time to process. Cramping it away because everyone needs to be happy all the time only makes everything worse.
A big issue we have in society is that we’re not allowed to feel bad. Whenever someone feels bad in any way, people are panicking and trying to fix it, make someone happy.
But isn’t that just basic empathy? We see someone we care about is unhappy and we understand the feeling of unhappiness and want to do something about them being unhappy.
Obviously, the advice above is unhelpful, but I don’t think doing things to try to make an unhappy person happy is inherently the wrong approach. Baking a sad person cookies is a way to try to make them happy. I don’t see an issue there unless you get pissed off at them for not wanting the cookies or something.
Doing something to try to cheer a depressed person up is greatly different to just telling people to cheer up. Because just telling someone to feel different is exactly reatly lacking empathy.
I agree, I was just talking about the other people trying to fix it part.
Tell him he’s technically not wrong, but mindet surgery does not exists and it takes endless effort, time and help to change.
Yeah, it’s the same argument as “when your arm is amputated, why not just grow it back?”. I mean, sure, that’s a great option if you don’t want to live without an arm, just an option we don’t have with the current tech.
Just splice in some newt DNA
Damn. I’ve never thought if that. That’s genius!
Right up there with the people who ignore me, leave me alone or exclude me when I’m down. I’m depressed because I’m being excluded and feel isolated, jackasses.
“Just show up and do the thing, you’re always welcome!” (Ever tried just showing up when you’ve been removed from being told where the weekly thing even is and no one answers when asked?)
The amount of oblivious hypocrisy I’ve run into while navigating the deep blue is astounding.
“it could be worse”
Like yeah mother fucker I’m trying to prevent that exact thing
If someone is fighting depression and builds up the courage to reach out to you be sure to say “aren’t we all” then provide zero support. This will make then feel like they aren’t struggling alone.
My Boss noticed I had been down lately. She said “She was depressed once, then she started going out with friends once a week. That was 20 years ago and shes been cured since”. True story.
It’s really a health thing in general. If someone tells you they’re struggling with an illness, they almost certainly do not want you to be an armchair doctor. They’re almost certainly telling it to you for a reason other than getting medical advice from you unless they specifically ask for it.
Not only do some people not take no for an answer, some people actually get incredibly irate about it. I had someone here on Lemmy literally start harassing me in different communities and repeatedly in PM because their so-called medical advice, which was already discounted by my doctors, was not taken seriously.
Your post mentioned medical advice so many times I can only assume you’re looking for some, so here: whatever you do, avoid being gamma radiated in space. Otherwise, you might become a member of the fantastic four, which will be horrible for your mental health.
That bit about reminding you in different communities to avoid being gamma radiated in space sounds effective but also like a lot of work. Could you just copy/paste the above paragraph to the bottom of all your future comments to save me some effort? Thanks!
Hope you’re able to eat more these days and that your issue isn’t an early symptom of turning into a member of the fantastic four.
Be sure to lecture mentally ill people about how they don’t need that medication and shouldn’t be taking it as well.
rolls eyes how you know someone hasn’t struggled with real mental health issues.
The first time that happened to me - she said it in not those words but in a more subtle way - I was shocked. It took me a few moments to ingest the complete lack of empathy.
Have you tried not being depressed? /s
This Tweet (and all of its derivatives) is exactly the same level of not helpful.
That sets the bar quite high. A single tweet is not going to help in any substantial way, but it might be relatable.
Are you saying don’t let perfect be the enemy of good? Because that would be a good tweet.
No, that’s not what I’m saying. If you fight with depression, you need therapy. No tweet will help you. People saying “cheer up” try to help you and fail miserable. The tweet in the screenshot doesn’t try to help or cure you. It’s just a relatable tweet not doing much good but neither harming anyone
What isn’t helpful about it, to you?
Even if ‘cheer up’ may be what some people need, the point of the tweet is it’s un-empathetic to say this.
It’s the passive-aggressiveness of the tweet. Being bitter and sarcastic won’t make anyone’s day better either.
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That’s definitely true, but I think the problem ends up being that when you’re in the hole of depression, that kind of interpretation is against your current thought pattern. People say the latter as shorthand for the former, but when depressed that shorthand breaks down because the stupid fucking depression gets in the way and just says “yeah, but you can’t cheer up no matter what, because you’re depressed.”
It’s ridiculous cyclical logic, but it seems perfectly fine unless directly contradicting by someone else being very blunt (like with the more detailed example you gave)
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I believe you just described cognitive behavioral therapy.
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If you are suffering from clinical depression and try to change your thought patterns in some consistent way, you’re probably going to fail. That’s why there are things like therapy and medication to help depressed people. Most people can’t self-help their way out of actual depression.
Remember, depression is different from unhappiness.
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If you’ve been in so much therapy and work in mental health, why are you suggesting people try to solve this problem on their own?
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