May you have to deal with people like yourself for eternity.
That’s a clever curse, because if you’re a good and thoughtful person you have nothing to worry about
Although if you struggle with mental health it may be… a bit rough
For real!
I have autism, and I swear, dealing with other neurodivergant people is a true pain in the rear. It really puts it into perspective just how frustrating I probably am when my condition makes me into the world most dense and forgetful person in the room. I know I hate it when other people act the way I sometimes do subconsciously.
May you have to deal with people like yourself for eternity nonstop.
so no pause or sleep.
May you have the life that you deserve
Ouch
May you never find the short edge of your blanket at night.
🖕
May one shoelace be permanently tighter than the other just enough to be annoying.
How does that work for shoes without laces?
They get incurable cancer
Wow, you are a particular kind of cruel.
May your Tupperware and zip locks never fully close, click, snap or seal.
May mosquitos find your skin the rarest of delicacies while rendering others around you uninteresting to feed from.
May your front teeth be magnetic to food particles that are extra adhesive so you almost always have food stuck between your teeth.
May your tires always look deflated to others despite being full so you are constantly pointed at on the freeway and stoplights by other drivers.
May you compulsively jig any time you hear any music for a minimum for 30 seconds.
May you be unable to type so you are forced to handwrite everything. May you work for the IRS who accommodates your technological disability.
May people never find anything you say funny but they always give you halfhearted courtesy laughs.
May any TV channel or streaming station have no content other than Con Air on loop.
May you always get birthday cards, invitations and presents at least a month off from your real day.
May all your furniture squeak incessantly.
Every liquid product that you try use (glue, shampoo, toothpaste, etc) will be clogged with the dried product requiring a small pick to clear the clog before use.
May you receive the respect you deserve.
You always feel like you have to sneeze
Make them use Microsoft products.
May all your condiment packets fail to tear open neatly.
May your internet connection be inconsistent and plagued by outages.
May all your farts be wet and untrustworthy.
One that makes your sense of hearing lag behind your sense of sight by a second.
Ah, the pulseaudio bluetooth curse. Counterspell: pipewire
Every 24 hours, at noon, small rock appears in one of the shoes they are wearing.
They will grow a 5 inch translucent hair from the top of one ear every time they drink coffee.
15 minutes after they ride a bicycle they will have violent diarrhea with 5 minutes of warning signs.
Alcohol has no effect on them.
Every time they turn the steering wheel of their car further than 5°, their turn signal indicates the direction that the wheel turns.
They can hear what their dog or cat is thinking over any distance, but it is only a stream of consciousness because the animal is incapable of understanding that their thoughts are being heard.
Alcohol has no effect on them.
You’re going to have to try again for this one.
- a teetotaler
May the other side of your pillow be always warm.
May your marinara sauce never cling to your pasta!
You are a monster.
May flies regularly fly past you next to your ear.
