I taught my older daughter to drive a manual car and I really wish I had a reasonable manual car to teach my younger daughter. She will learn, but it will be like driving a tank. Not the most fun.

Your hate towards manual transmissions is exactly why it’s now an anti-theft device. If the thieves don’t show to drive it, it won’t be stolen.

My oldest daughter is trying to buy a manual transmission car now. It’s very hard to find…

Yep! In my experience it’s awful and it stays awful for ever.

But just like with going to work, over time you come to accept that existence is suffering.

Practice your manual driving in a big open parking lot or something. Somewhere you don’t have to worry about rules of the road while still figuring out your muscle memory for shifting. Like everything else, it’ll become second nature in time.

To make driving more appealing, I suggest living in an unwalkable American Midwest purgatory where there’s fuck-all to do but watch tractors circle fields or meth

You will begin to associate the positive emotions of escape and freedom with driving, which will make you enjoy it a lot more

Your mileage may vary, but it worked great for me

I bus to work, it takes only five minutes more than me driving, and is only five dollars a day, and I get to read or listen to podcasts or whatever and not think about traffic or bad drivers. The only downside is obnoxious passengers on occasion and people who smell bad. I don’t love driving at all.

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FUCK NO. I hated driving lessons, but I love driving ever since I got my license. It took me almost a decade to figure out why. First, I hate other people telling me where to go. GPS, no problem, but Kevin over here telling me to take a left 1 second before I’m past the intersection iterates me so much. I can’t concentrate on signs or the road if I have to constantly anticipate so arbitrary direction.

Also, not driving my own car makes me anxious. It feels like the car is 2 ft wider on the outside but more cramped on the inside. My field of view narrows, and I get clumsy on the clutch. All because my brain is on a constant loop of ‘this isn’t mine, don’t wreck it, this isn’t mine, don’t wreck it’.

Driving isn’t stressful, doing it by the book is. On the road you just go with the flow. If you turn the wrong way into a one way street, you wave, say sorry and back out again. If you take somebodies right of way and nothing bad happened then you just move on. Its not like the police is waiting around every corner. Driving lessons hold you to a way higher standard then most people adhere to on the road.

I sometimes wish I still had a manual transmission for more interaction in the driving experience, but they’ve been difficult to find here for the last couple decades. I did finally give up as I realized manual transmissions are no longer relevant for newer car technologies.

However to add to everyone’s comments about time and practice …. I have two teens who recently got their driving licenses. Both were technically fine but inexperienced and nervous after they got their licenses. However one has been driving to school every day for the last year, and already drives like any adult. A drivers license s just the beginning of learning to drive with you as the sole person responsible. It may seem overwhelming but you can gain confidence and experience faster than you expect. Just keep at it, do your best, learn from mistakes (as in do better, dont just criticize yourself)

It becomes easy with practice, and driving a manual is not distracting at all once you get the hang of it

I don’t have much experience with manual, but I do have severe ADHD. From my experience, it takes about 6 months of driving every day before your brain does most of it automatically. It is really awful at first having to constantly think about every step. Couple random anecdotes that may help. My assumption is you are driving on the right:

1. Drive barefoot or with minimalist shoes. You can really feel the car and road this way. Flip flops are a no no. All it took was them getting caught in the pedal once to never do it again.
2. Leave lots of space in front of you in high traffic situations. If you are sitting in the far right/exit/slow lane a lot it will help other drivers get around you. If it is a mulilane highway, it may be safer to stay in the middle lane until it is time to exit.
3. Look left first. Oncoming traffic hitting your driver side door is bad.
4. If you ever ever doubt when looking both ways, just look again. People can wait.
5. People get mad or do stupid shit. It is ok. We stop being rational people once “time” enters the equation. At some point, getting mad at other drivers all the time makes you a worse driver. Learn to just let shit go.
6. Try to space yourself where you don’t create blindspots for yourself or others.
7. Position your side mirrors properly. If you can easily see you car door, they are pointing in too far.

Adjust your seat and steering wheel. You want the steering wheel far away from your face. If you have an adjustable steering wheel, this will be a lot easier. There is a little lever you can pull to unlock it.

1. Unlatch the wheel and push it completely away from you.
2. Adjust your seat first so you can reach the pedals and feel in control of run. Test how it feels to push the brake, clutch, etc.
3. Now, adjust the steering wheel. Put your arms straight out. You want your wrists to touch the “10&2” position of the wheel.
4. Keep the steering wheel as low as you can, but still see the instruments, and make sure there is plenty of space between you and the very deadly airbag. You do not want it hitting your face and it needs enough space to deploy to properly protect you
5. Make final adjustments as needed and recheck your mirrors.

It definitely gets easier in my experience. A lot of the things that take conscious effort right now are going to become reflexes and automatisms with more experience. Right now you are building that experience, and there isn’t really a way to speed it up. You just need to do each action dozens and hundreds of times, until you do it without thinking.

Driving a manual car, for example, is definitely more complex than an automatic one. You literally need to manage one more thing. But do not worry about it, you will change gears a lot during your practice sessions and build a lot of experience quickly. In a few months you will probably not think much about gears, and in a few years you will be managing them without giving it a single thought.

Fun anecdote, I recently got a new car and it is an automatic one while I previously only drove manuals. For a few days I couldn’t figure out how to start smoothly, and I was very confused… until I realized that starting mostly involved the clutch on my previous car. The first movements of my right foot used to be to keep the rpm under control while disengaging the clutch, which is just not needed on an automatic car. I was simply applying the same muscle memory to the new car without realizing it!

being too soft or too rough on the clutch is a matter of millimeters is ridiculous

On this point specifically, don’t think of it as millimetres of distance. You act based on how the car responds, not trying to hit a specific distance of pedal movement. You already do the same thing with your other foot - you don’t think “I need to press the accelerator down 55 mm”, you just press it a bit more or a bit less until the car is going the speed you want it to go at. Same deal with the clutch, there just isn’t a dial on the dashboard that tells you where you currently have it.

You’re right that driving involves processing a lot of information at once that nobody is particularly familiar with absorbing when they start. It is difficult and dangerous. That’s why there are tests and licences. But in much the same way that typing was once completely alien to you and is now something you do with little active thought, you’ll get there soon enough with the clutch too. And if you learn it now, you’ll never be caught out in a situation when there isn’t an automatic option available

When I first started driving, it was with manual. And it really helped once I realized two things:

• Being shitty at gear shifts won’t make me fail at the final test. Instructor told me as much. If I wear out the clutch and cox up the engine through repeated stalls, that’s my problem - I can torture and destroy my car through ineptitude, as long as it’s done in accordance with road safety.
• Getting used to the clutch is half the battle. Not clutches in general, but the specific one you’re driving. Once you get used to know how insensitive or sensitive it is, the rest will be a lot easier. With time (and not a whole lot of it, actually), you’ll be shifting gear without having to think much about it, just like the rest; right now you’re struggling with you many areas that require your focus. As you practice them, you will do all of them without thinking about them.

I still need a while getting used to new gearboxes whenever I’m using someone else’s car.

Oh, and a tip: be sure to memorize the gear positions, and while standing still with the engine off you can practice shifting from and to any gear without looking. That’s one less thing to pay attention to.

I love manual driving! Sure it didn’t go super smooth when I first started, but after 2 years, I don’t even realize I’m shifting automatically. But it might be me that I want to have control over my car, rather than it driving for me.

Dunno what the laws are like where you live but might be worth doing some lessons with a friend on quieter country roads to get more practice with the clutch if possible.