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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 14th, 2023

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  • My partner was admitted to the hospital when they couldn’t inflate his collapsed lung, as it had a hole in it. They put him on a machine that uses negative pressure to keep the lung shaped as it should be. Normally the hole should close but it wasn’t. Ended up with surgery but the problem remained. They were coming up with increasingly outlandish theories as to why it wasn’t healing, even going so far as to test him for tuberculosis, and listing him as false negative for covid. They also denied him adequate pain management, until one nurse noticed and gave him ibuprofen to go with paracetamol. This was all when the covid vaccine was only just out so I had to sit by helplessly while I’m increasingly realising the level of care he is receiving doesn’t match my expectations. But he’s never even been in a hospital and self advocacy is not something he’s learned.

    Eventually they transfer him to a larger hospital. The doctor there doesn’t want to talk straight but between the lines you get the message that he feels the case was entirely mismanaged. They immediately lower the reverse pressure. Hold off on further surgery. Within days healing begins. A week later the lung is healed. It’s a miracle…

    Anyway, we looked into legal options but there was a lack of proof. The original doctor followed procedure. Yet I’m 100% convinced that because my partner smokes, has bad teeth and looks like a metalhead, there was prejudice at play. I can’t know for sure but I feel like the original doctor blamed my partner and figured she’d have to scare him straight. That didn’t help of course, he resumed smoking and he’s unwilling to seek help because of this experience. I’m honestly shocked at how this could happen, but as time goes on I’ve seen in other situations how people immediately conclude a person is lower class and thus must be treated differently. If you do one thing for yourself, look into self advocacy. Especially when it comes to medical stuff. My own level of care started to go up when I began to have a conversation with health professionals, outlining my experience and asking many questions. But I’m a middle class woman with fairly conventional looks, so there is a whole level of prejudice I immediately don’t face.



  • 2 mandatory office days even for consultants. If you want to be at the office, fine. But don’t make everyone be because of some so-called fairness. Catering to some imaginary average person isn’t fair, it’s hurting everyone a little or a lot. Alas since I’m working via an agency, I got to follow client directives. Luckily I have good rapport with both my agency and my project team lead so I can kinda toe the line.

    Also the inability or rather unwillingness of my fellow devs to follow protocol. Ticket not approved by business? You don’t touch it. Yet the geniuses I work with went total yolo mode on a project I’m not on. So I wasn’t there to remind them and now they’re upset they got told off they spent a week on tickets that they were asked to discuss with the business. And that they aren’t getting praise for their efficiency. It’s government work, not your hobby project. That’s a week of budget spent on work they may need to reverse because they didn’t even put it on a branch. Maybe when they hear it from higher up they’ll listen because I really get the impression when it comes from me it is seen as my personal opinion. No, I just figured out early how the office politics work and play the game I’m paid for. I voice my opinion plenty but here it actually aligns with the organisation expectations.


  • Not to this scale, but my partner’s father has spent a fair bit of money doing upgrades and repairs that are technically for the landlord. However, I should note that the contract isn’t registered, meaning the landlord cannot index the rent. This also makes it hard to hold the landlord responsible for doing any repairs. On the other hand, renter can’t be held responsible for modifications either. So legally there is more freedom on either side. Thing is, the renter can always demand registration. But usually this means no renewal of the contract. It’s very likely here the property would get sold and even if he brings up the money, it may be sold to someone else. So the short answer is really that people in poverty often don’t know or don’t dare to stand up for their rights and loopholes like this keep existing because you can get a cheaper rent on a building not up to standards.


  • Recently listened to it. Appreciate them looking at the various angles. The history bits are excellent, once again I learned things about people of colour which I wouldn’t have otherwise.

    I’ve actually been to Iceland several times, and once I took the chance to try whale after much assurance from a local that when it comes to ethics, it’s fine and within quota. That said, I wish I had the willpower to be a vegetarian. It would be ideal to me if we no longer needed any animals to sustain ourselves. But some foods are just too good and don’t have perfect replacements yet. I hope that with lab grown meats whale will also become an option. So that they can live free and full lives. Unless the one guy on the show was right about overpopulation. I didn’t feel he was the best source. But wildlife management is a thing, especially since we’re meddling in nature, so now we’re responsible too. It’s a tough and emotionally changed subject.


  • Sugar is antibacterial, hence why honey can stay good like forever. It’s a cheap way to increase shelf life that also makes people really like the food because we evolutionary seek that stuff out. It’s not right though. We work long hours so convenient foods should allow us to buy back some time. But when they’re all like this, you end up either having to do it yourself or risk your health. There should absolutely be limits. But with food costs as they are, who is going to fight for that? The alternatives are more expensive, or you reduce shelf life. It’s much better regulated here in the EU but we too are still not there, obesity is still on the rise.


  • Single flash of hazards to thank someone is common in Brussels traffic, there are a lot of very selfish drivers on the road who never let anyone merge in. Haven’t seen it outside of here, maybe because people are usually a bit more polite or zipper merging works as it should.

    Common in all of Belgium to put hazards on to warn people behind you that there is a traffic jam up ahead. I really like that passing the baton system.

    Also single flash of high beams to notify someone you’ve seen them and they can cross or pass where they’d otherwise not have right of way. While you should always be as predictable as possible, sometimes doing it wrong resolves the situation faster for everyone.

    I also always raise my hand as a thanks when someone stops to let me use a crossing (I have the right of way as a pedestrian but I still feel like sending people a thank you for observing the rules correctly). Did that when walking in Brussels this morning out of sheer habit, realized that is probably actually pretty unusual for a big city. My small town habits are betraying me.