I don’t think it’s quite that simple. I’m a dad to a FtM trans teenager and I was born in the early 80s. There’s a lot of “inertia” to the worldview presented as “normal” in education, media, and society at large just in my lifetime.
I think the first time I learned that homosexuality was a thing was from Ellen. I know now that everyone isn’t hetero but every relationship I saw around me, in books, in movies for my the most formative years of my life defined it as “normal” in my brain.
All I knew outside of “gender norms” was Bugs Bunny in drag, Bosom Buddies, Some Like it Hot, Rocky Horror. It was “not normal”, a joke.
I come from a liberal family with a liberal upbringing. I’ve considered myself an LGBT ally for a long time, but I still have a lot of implicit biases in my head.
When my child came out as trans, those implicit biases were the first things into my head. I love my son for who he is, want him to be happy, and fully support him. When he decided to dress fem for the first time after hatching my implicit biases were confused. But it doesn’t matter what those biases say because I consciously support what makes him happy.
My parents were born in the 50s. They are both unabashed feminists but they had another 30 years of that “inertia” to overcome when my son hatched. They still occasionally forget the right pronouns. His one remaining great grandmother has almost 20 years more inertia to overcome and still uses the wrong name occasionally.
I guess what I’m saying is that I agree with you to an extent. These things threaten their “inertia” and it’s hard to question yourself like that. It’s easier to dig your heels in and fight back.
Mexican restaurants in Hampton Roads also serve a “white salsa” that’s made out of miracle whip, garlic powder, oregano, milk, and crushed red pepper. Growing up you got a little bowl of each with your complimentary chips. Once I moved out of the area I realized it wasn’t Mexican at all and no one else does it.