I’m laid up right now and I’m an anxious mess. I’m worried about finances and now my car. My mom said the engine sounded funny when she brought it over to her place, where I’m staying.
I’m getting surgery to fix my ankle tomorrow and I’ll hopefully be wfh a week after that. But I will have missed an entire pay period. My big bills are coming up next week, and idk if I’ll have enough to pay them. I also can’t afford a new car, and I’m afraid I’ll need a new one soon.
I’m so overwhelmed. I’ve been close to tears for almost an hour. I’m sure the excruciating pain of my severely broken bones isn’t helping. I’ve been trying to distract myself with TV, games, and crafts, but the anxiety is still persistently at the back of my mind.
“ I used to work in a sheet metal factory, but then, a job came along at the tannery. The hours were better, and I would get paid. Also I would get the chance to work with leather both before and after it was on the cow, which had always been a dream of mine. I didn’t want to give up my sheet metal job, so I tried to do both jobs and finish middle school.”
“How old were you?”
“Eleven. The point is, I was so tired I tried to punch through 8 gauge aluminum with a leather awl.” laughs
“Wow.”
“I learned a lesson. Never half ass two things. Whole ass one thing. So if you want to win that seat-“
“Which I do.”
“Then commit yourself 100%. Take a sabbatical.”
I’ve tried making lists, but they end up becoming a problem when it comes time to pick one thing to focus on. Eventually you just need to whole ass one thing.
And it turns out that’s the opposite of anxiety, for me at least. The opposite of anxiety isn’t calm, or peace - it’s focus. My advice would be to focus, on one or two things at a time.
Right now, you’re laid up in bed. Your body is hard at work on healing, so give your mind a break - try watching something that makes you laugh. Focus on laughing, and finding joy in these quiet moments. You have a perfect excuse to take some time for yourself. Drink lots of fluids (beer is a very good fluid). Eat good food. Get good sleep. Focus on that.
In no particular order, I would recommend watching the Office, Parks and Rec, the Good Place, Community, Wilfred, Adventures of Todd Margaret, Last Man On Earth, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, What We Do In The Shadows, or Our Flag Means Death
Read current articles about climate change.
Not with a broken leg and ankle but I’ve been overcome before by situations like this. I know there’s a lot of advice in here already to manage the anxiety, but here’s a few things you can actually do:
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Make a list. Write down everything that needs to be taken care of. Pets, bills, work, rent, school work…just write down everything that comes to mind. Write down deadlines and where you are going to come short.
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If you are not on heavy pain meds, start communicating. There’s a good chance that some deadlines can be pushed back, work can find you extra hours, friends and family can spot you. Even creditors may be willing to help. You have a situation that is entirely provable with hospital records.
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Depending on your life situation, you may be able to find government resources, charity groups, etc. Just by calling around you could find a connection inadvertently that can help. I found pro bono legal services once when an someone tried to sue me because a charity group i called knew someone from another group.
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Adjust your list and prioritize what needs to be done first. I think just putting things down on paper/word doc takes a lot of burden off your mind. You know you won’t forget what needs to be done and it helps to have all the info in front of you when you need to communicate.
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Sudoku. Optional, but highly advocate that or some kind of problem solving game.
Good luck to you, friend. Speedy recovery.
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I feel you. I’ve had struggled with worrying a lot, too. Biggest insight for me was that worries are first of all just fantasies about the future. Start asking yourself more often: “what if everything goes well?” Instead of “what if everything goes wrong?”. Realize, in the realm of fantasies those two questions are equals. Your mom said that she thinks the engine sounded funny. And that’s it for all we know. Maybe she even just misheard. Also, start tackling real problems that may arise step by step. Stringing along worries before they have even arrived is of course paralyzing because fantasies are endless. You often will realize that all those “follow up” problems you fantasized about will never arise because you are very well capable of solving the real problems right away. Friends and family will love to help you if you ask.
In your situation, any worries about the car can be pushed back for at least a few months, so just make a calendar note to check on whether there’s anything wrong with it, then put it aside for now. With minimal driving it’s not getting worse, and may be nothing at all.
Follow all @backachu’s good advice, with this addition:
You have surgery tomorrow, so prioritize rest right now. Instead of thinking you have to hold onto everything, once you’ve written your list set aside several hours to let go of everything and rest. Something creeps back in your mind? Push it out. Repeat to yourself: “For my best outcome in surgery I need to be well rested. If possible I need to sleep. Resting is the most important thing I can be doing with my time right now.” If you can’t, don’t beat yourself up about it, treat yourself with the kindness you would show a friend. But if you can, it will help you react better to anesthesia and heal faster if you don’t go in depleted.
