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When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.
- Jack Handey
Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.
- Mike Tyson
This is true on so many different levels. It helps me plan my life for situations when I “get punched” and will likely not be able to stay rational enough to follow the plan.
I always think of the saying “it is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and prove it”, this is a simplified version.
The original quote is “It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt” and it is often attributed to Abraham Lincoln, but that part is debatable.
I remember a related version from when I took Latin in school. “Si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses” (if you had remained silent, you would have remained a philosopher)
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake
Sun-Tzu
This is for the record. History is written by the victor. History is filled with liars. If he lives, and we die, his truth becomes written - and ours is lost. Shepherd will be a hero, 'cause all you need to change the world is one good lie and a river of blood. He’s about to complete the greatest trick a liar ever played on history. His truth will be the truth. But only if he lives, and we die. - Capt. John Price
Everyone thinks they’re the hero of their own story. - Handsome Jack
“Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool.”
- Mark Twain
All time favourite is hard, but here is one I often quote to myself when I get too involved in online discussions:
“You could not fence with an antagonist who met rapier thrust with blow of battle axe.”
(Lucy Maud Montgomery)https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/84171-critics-who-treat-adult-as-a-term-of-approval-instead
“Critics who treat ‘adult’ as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”
― C.S. Lewis
Ever dance with the devil by the pale moonlight? -Joker Nicholson
I’d drag my cock through a mile of broken glass to hear her fart through a walky-talky.
and
If you knew what I was thinking, you wouldn’t be my friend anymore.
These aren’t necessarily my favorite quotes, but they are the two I find myself referencing almost daily in my work life.
“We never seem to have the time to do it right, yet we always seem to find the time to do it twice.”
“You can save hours of planning with weeks of work.”
I don’t agree with the second one. Sometimes you can save weeks of planning with hours of work.
We have a version for programmers: “12 hours of debugging can save you 5 minutes of reading documentation.”
This one - “I am mosaic of everyone I’ve ever loved, even for a moment.”
‘The future is built on the present. What kind of future are you building today?’
- I haven’t got a clue.
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, raise the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
- H.L. Mencken
